I've been thinking a lot lately about how much I have to be grateful for and how lucky I am to be where I am in life and have three great kids and an amazing husband, and such supportive friends and family.  The other night Eryn and Robyn and I were talking about our recent attitude adjustments and finding that we were happier than we realized.  I had just seen this video on my cousin-in-law's blog and it came to mind when our discussion turned to how easy it is to get bogged down when, as a full time mom you don't recieve the kind of constant feedback that an employed person does.  All your efforts are either swallowed up in your child's choices (efforts of disciplining and teaching) or undone within hours (efforts such as laundry and dishes).  But this video is a nice reminder that that's not what matters.  I don't need appreciation.  I need to do the work that will further the Lord's work.  And that is motherhood.

I've also been thinking a lot about this quote by C.S. Lewis (gotta love that guy) that I read on Amy's blog:

"The load, or weight, or burden of my neighbor's glory should be laid daily on my back, a load so heavy that only humility can carry it, and the backs of the proud will be broken. It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship.... It is in light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendship, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations--these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with , marry, snub, and exploit... Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, our neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses."


In conjunction with these lyrics of an Alanis Morissette song called "That I would be Good":

that i would be good even if i did nothing


that i would be good even if i got the thumbs down

that i would be good if i got and stayed sick

that i would be good even if i gained ten pounds



that i would be fine even if i went bankrupt

that i would be good if i lost my hair and my youth

that i would be great if i was no longer queen

that i would be grand if i was not all knowing



that i would be loved even when i numb myself

that i would be good even when i'm overwhelmed

that i would be loved even when i was fuming

that i would be good even if i was clingy



that i would be good even if i lost sanity

that i would be good whether with or without you

 
The interpretation may seem obvious to you.  I've thought about these words for a long time. I used to imagine her singing to a negligent boyfriend.  Now I imagine her singing to her parents, or maybe the parents of the world.  The full sentence is, "I need to learn from you that my worth does not hinge upon any external factors.  I need to know that I would be good..."

I feel a real responsibility to let my children feel ths is true of them, so that they can understand the real worth of their soul and the souls of all those around them.

I also think maybe she's just telling herself.  Do I need to remind myself that my worth does not hinge on whether or not I get the dishes done in a timely manner?  On how much more rowdy my kids are than some others? Or that my clothes don't quite fit the way they should?  Maybe.

Do with this what you will.  Just thought I'd share my thoughts.