Nothing Says "I Love You" Like...

...Spread sheets. Especially an entire presentation in charts and graphs; are you swooning yet?

In the spirit of being original (and frugal, which Spencer has no trouble with), I told Spencer that all I wanted for this Valentine's was a homemade card/heartfelt letter. I made Spencer a cheesy scrapbook-y thing with an even cheesier poem glued sideways on the back (it's hard to get things right when you are simultaneously trying to keep the kids from dumping out all the contents of every box of crackers in the house.)

Anyway, so my gift was cheesy. But heartfelt. And this is what that ol' hopeless romantic of a husband I've got made for me:

Yes, he handmade the envelope.

Inside the envelope:

Inside the analysis:

Oh, you want to see the graphs and charts close-up? Here are a few:

This next one is neither a joke about my weight nor his hair, lest some of us be confused (DAN):

I'm not sure what else to say about it, it's really a treasure. He was so pleased with his work that he took it to work the next day. I was so pleased with it that I've worn make up every day since then.

He may be a business geek, but he's MINE. And his love-language may be Excel, but I'll take it :) (besides, the charts and graphs make it easy to understand and visualize, am I right?)


Here are some other V-day pics from the Clive Res. :

A card that Cadence got from a friend. I've never seen a more appropriate card. Bedtime was by definition a "fiasco" that night. Sooooooooooooooooo hyper. Hyper. Remember when that used to be a buzz word? It was like the "random" of the 90s. Am I right?

I caught Layla taking advantage of my distraction with her hyper sisters. I carefully kept most chocolates and sweets out of her reach. But didn't bother with sharp objects. Oh, and then I took pictures instead of freaking out and grabbing them. I'm so good at my job.

Mamaw Clive sent a Valentine's box with some serious goodness, including a new dress and skirt for the girls. They were over-the-top excited.

I tried to get a picture of the girls in their romantic tu-tu's, but again, HY PER!, so I said after a few tries, trying to communicate to Cadence that it was unnecessary to put Layla in a headlock, "I give up, let's quit." "But MOM! Clive's don't EVER give up!!" Eh. Did you know i"m only half-clive? So I had to pretend to get a good one before I was "done".

I was quite pleased with myself for this little number:

lot's of paper and stickers and glue and Cadence being in "manager mode" (wherein she shouts orders and directions in a very confident and superior way. Her managerial style is one with high standards).

Spencer's Idea of A Good Time

Did you see us (NW Arkansans) on the news? We got a lot of snow on Wednesday. Record snow falls in some areas, like as in 24 inches somewhere in Bville. We didn't get 24 inches but we measured 11 1/2 a couple hours before it let up.

So what do Clives do when the snow dumps on us?

The same thing they do at the beach. They just jump in. (I, of course, played my Orton card on this one, and stayed out of the snow) (Ortons: that doesn't mean I think any of you would stay out, most of you probably wouldn't. It just means that sometimes I get to opt out of the mandatory Clive craziness).

In his defense, he mostly grew up in regions where snow was a thing of legends. As in, only in stories.



I woke up in the morning to a cold cold kiss as he dripped in the snow that he was covered in. He had just had Cadence be his camera-man, which didn't turn out quite right, so I encouraged him to go again and this time I got it.



Later on, Spencer and Cadence shovel the walks. I wait indoors with hot chocolate.

Cadence gets cozy in her new igloo.
Spencer decided he was too hot from shoveling the snow, and needed a good cool-down.

Last week we took all the kids sledding, including myself and Layla, which is unusual. For Layla and the snow, it was literally love at first sight. She was so happy.



Have I mentioned I prefer to stay indoors during winter weather? I try to distract myself from cleaning the house, since it goes like this: I clean the house, while 3 little professional mess-makers work even harder than I do. My shrine to romance:

Cadence and I like to make chocolate covered pretzels. Hers are awesome because they have so much chocolate and sprinkles. yum!

How to Quit Being a Jerk

Here's a little story for you:



When I was a senior in high school I worked in a little cubicle and as luck would have it, shared my small office space with the one boy voted by my friends and I as the cutest of all the boys in school. After time, our relationship would progress to be one of dear friends, but in this story, we're not there yet. I'm just a nerdy file-manager who is desperately trying to get the attention of the cute internet-guy that sits a few feet away from me and who has nobody else to pay attention to.



In my desperation to converse with internet-guy, I one day did something totally thoughtless. I gossiped about one of my very closest friends and how her "friendship" with one of internet-guy's closest friends seemed to be secretly romantic (which it turns out it wasn't, and I knew as much. Again, just for the sake of having something to talk about). It was a dumb-girl thing to do and while I didn't say anything mean about my friend, it certainly wasn't a loyal act.



Naturally, it got back to my long-time very close friend, who was not happy. Laura's family took me with them to St. George a couple of times. I can't tell you the silliness that abounded. If you could see this picture close-up, you would be amazed that somebody as beautiful as Laura would hang out with that british-chap-lookin-thing.

Surprise! Of course she wasn't. After a long talk with her trying to understand why I would do something like that and me not being able to figure it out, I went home and wondered about myself. When did I become a jerk?



I'd always thought of myself as a nice person. I thought I was loyal and a good friend. I wasn't especially nice-on-the-eyes, I wasn't talented or athletic, so these traits of loyalty and kindness were all I was riding on. So I felt lost.



I prayed, I read the scriptures, and then I did what I do best: I made a list. A list to help me get my balance back. I keep this list in my scriptures and when those times in my life come and I feel all out of balance and off-kilter (what is kilter, anyway?), I read it again, and pick a few things to work on.



I'm sharing this for my kids. And so that if the original gets lost, I won't turn into a total jerk. And maybe for transparency. Now you know what goes on in my head. What my weaknesses are. But that I'm trying. Always.



10 years later, I still need to work on all of these things all the time.



Here's the list, appropriately titled,



HOW TO QUIT BEING A JERK:



Prayer

Scripture Study

Tell everyone in family "I love you"

Think one nice thing about everyone I talk to (at least one)

Think of two nice things about everyone I think something negative about

Completely quit worrying about what other people think--don't even make it an issue

Don't stop worrying about what other people feel

Don't be selfish

Be grateful

Be strong, devoted, dedicated (personal admonition given to me)

Be responisble and sensible

Be patient and willing to listen

Don't talk so much

Eat right and drink lots of water

Be positive

Be yourself

Be a light (not a poster) (This is to say, bring warmth and guidance but not be blaring advertisement for righteousness)

Be humble

Be faithful

Serve Serve Serve (find a way to serve someone every day)

Stop gossiping

What would you add to the list?