#@*#$@##&*^@!

Subtitle: STOP STABBING MY BABIES!

Before I say anything, let me make it clear that I don't like to cottle my kids. When they fall, I say, "Get up, shake it off". But we're not talking about scraped knees here.

Oh, and one more little disclaimer: I'm not trying to badmouth any medical professionals. Melissa or Aunt Sarah, for example, I'm sure that you are very empathetic to your babies.

Let's start with two little vignettes:
#1: About two years ago exactly, Cadence was 10 months old. I changed her diaper and found blood in it. Bright, undiluted blood that was near the front of her diaper. It totally freaked me out. It was just about 6:00 pm, too late to be seen by her pediatrician, so to the ER we marched. Five 1/2 hours later we were finally seen by somebody, who said, "Well, I don't know why they didn't just order a urinalysis when you first got here, but since it's been so long, we'll have to do a catheter to get a pure sample". So the doctor left and three nurses came in. The looked at us and said, "Don't worry, she'll never remember this." And laughed. We didn't laugh. Then two of the nurses held her little legs, Spencer and I held her arms/upper body, and one nurse jammed that catheter up my little baby's most tender spot over and over until she got a urine sample. I'm not exaggerating. And it literally took all of our strength to hold her down against that pain. Of course I cried. I wanted to smack those doctors. Spencer too. That was an awful experience, and I counted the minutes, hoping that as soon as she slept she would forget.

Story #2: A few weeks ago Campbell had her 9 month well child check up. Because Chicago is an old industrial city, and most of us live in very old apartments, there is a lot of lead kickin' around our lives out here. So starting at nine months, it's routine to draw blood to check lead levels. I've been very concerned about lead levels in my kids since we got here, so I was anxious to get this done. I hate getting my blood drawn, but it doesn't hurt as much as injections/vaccinations do, so I hadn't really emotionally prepared myself for it. We sat down in the lab and the nurse called Cam a handsome little man and then tied a tourniquet on her chubby little arm. Well, that was already aggrevating enough for Campbell. Then the nurse swabbed her arm with alcohol and inserted the needle. I watched as the needle was swayed back and forth across my baby's arm. Back and forth, back and forth. I could tell that it was hurting Campbell. A mama knows the "that hurts" cry. I had to hold her so tight, I was so afraid that she would move and it would hurt worse or damage something... The nurse tried again and failed again, after much syringe-swaying. She called another nurse in and they let me calm the baby and went for her other arm. I felt so cruel, allowing this to happen to my baby. They finally got the blood they needed, of course. I never once thought to ask about pain management for my babies. If there were options, why wouldn't the doctors and nurses offer?

I recently read and reread an article in Parents Magazine called "Pain-Relief Secrets" by Darshak Sanghavi, MD. Did you read this? Possibly the most important article I've ever read in the magazine.

Did you know that until the '80s, the medical field "believed babies didn't feel pain, based on flawed studies showing that sleeping infants didn't respond to light pinpricks". AAH! The article goes on to say, (maybe my friends who have heart babies shouldn't read this part) "In fact, until the 1980's, many newborns who had heart surgery received no pain medication--they were only given paralytic drugs that forced them to lie completely still, though fully aware, as their chests were opened." AAAAAHHH!!!

Who's dumb idea was that? Did they never see a newborn's foot get pricked? It's pretty obvious to me that they DO feel pain. Anyway, Dr. Kanwaljeet Anand, MD thought that was pretty disturbing (ya think?) and so he did studies to show that babies showed signs of intense stress when operated on in that way (heart rate, blood pressure) and that survival rates were better for babies who were properly anesthetized. Phew. You are a warrior poet, Dr. Anand.

However, it seems to still pervade the clinics and hospitals today: "In 2006, a survey of newborn intesive care units found that doctors only checked for pain in 10 percent of newborns after major surgery, and many children received no pain medications to comfort them. Babies in intensive care had an average of 14 painful procedures per day."

Now, you may not be a believer in medicating babies, and drugging a child is a decision that needs to be considered carefully. But if the procedure is going to cause trauma, I'm going to do whatever can be safely done to manage pain in my babies.

Having said that, I am not hoping to ever have to decide what to do with my babies in that situation. However, I learned two very applicable lessons from this article:

1. Ask. Be your child's advocate. If you are in the ER and they are going to do something that will be uncomfortable or miserable for your child, ask what the pain management options are. The author suggests asking for the "pediatric sedation team". If your child has an infection that is causing intense pain, you may only be given the antibiotics, and no pain management. Ask.

Unbeknown to us, Cadence had a viral infection the weekend of Melanie and Jake's wedding. She has this sad/tired look on her face in most every picture. Poor thing. She was in so much pain. It took us too long to figure it out. The cuties are as follows: Cadence, Avery (5), Zavian (10 mos at the time), Melanie, Campbell (6mos), Lauren (nearly 8 at the time), Reese (1 1/2).

2. For small things, like getting blood drawn, you have options. Did you know there is a topical pediatric numbing cream that costs about $2 a dose that can be applied to the spot where the needle with go? You have to apply it about an hour before. Yeah, I had been at the doctor's office for at least an hour at this point. Would I have minded putting it on when we first got there? Not at all. There are also a few other similar options. AND, by the way, did you know that dipping a pacifier in sugar water and giving it to them a minute or two before is almost as effective as drugs for small infants? You know, when we get vaccines, the nurses just walk in with the needles and say, "Hold 'er, Mom." And then after they've successfully made the child scream, they say, "Now give that baby some love!" As if I were to blame. Next time, I'm doing my homework first.

It's hard, when you are in the clinic, or hospital, or office, to take charge, for most of us. We are immediately put in a position of compliance and subordinance. The doctor comes in wearing a white coat and holding a clipboard, you are sitting on an uncomfortable weird bed/table thing, and procedure is that Doctor says, We listen. It's natural for us to not want to overstep our bounds. Next time, I'm going to be more forthright when it is my children in question. I'm going to ask if they have any less invasive way of accomplishing this, or if there is any way to make it more comfortable.

From now on, I will not assume that they wouldn't hurt my child on purpose.