One of Those Days

"Just one of those days that a girl goes through
When I'm angry inside, don't wanna take it out on you...
Just one of those days..."
Anybody remember that song from approx. 1988?
Anyway, it was. I could complain for paragraphs about why and when and how it all started and where it ended. It doesn't matter. I just didn't have it in me today. I was a terrible mother to a cranky little toddler and a newly-social infant.

Some days I just have to declare "survival mode", which means that I only expect myself to accomplish the bare necessities--wash the dishes needed for the meal at hand, keep the kids from starving or flushing themselves down the toilet, and if I never get out of my sweats, so be it. But today was like the 100th survival mode day in a row, and survival was almost out of reachWhile scuba-diving in SE Asia, my gear was slightly faulty and the vest that is supposed to help you maintain your desired buoyancy wasn't working. So I spent the whole time trying to keep at the right level undersea--if I went too low, I would sink really fast, but if I went too high, I would rise so quickly that my ears were in danger. (And something about the bends). This is a picture of me trying to stop myself from shooting up to the surface. This is how I feel every day. I'm just trying to find the right balance, but I spend the whole day wearing myself out--up and down and up and down, but no happy medium.

Anyway, I just needed to vent. Does anybody else have days where they wonder if they are as sane as they had thought? Or if they deserve to have such cute kids. I swear I can't keep up with Cadence. Should I really be expected to raise her? Ah well, it's not as bad as I'm making it sound. Confession: I'm a closet drama queen.

I have made some really great friends out here. Really. But I have to tell you, all you ol' friends of mine, I miss you. Really really. Thanks for keeping in touch, and thanks for being happy, shining examples of sane people even when life is crazyI need my sisters. And some dress-ups.

I should say thanks to Spencer, too. He's in "survival mode" with school, and he's still the one keeping me from losing it completely. He's a good man.

Spencer and Campbell (2 weeks old)--he had just shaved his head for the first time--and was about to go swimming--sorry for the immodesty (but you must admit it's nice, eh?).