Bettermoon!

Remember when you were engaged and all you wanted to was to get married so you could finally just be alone, together, and do whatever you wanted to do?  Leave the worries and cares of wedding plans and family mergers (in-law adjustments) behind you, and finally spend some quality time with your favorite person in the world?

What did I think I needed to get away from back then?  When did we not get quality alone time together?  When did we need to actually plan to get a break so that we could enrich our relationship?

I'm telling you, a honeymoon 7 years and 3 kids later is WAAAAAAY BETTTTTERRRRR!!!!

Last week we did the best thing ever and we left the kids behind for FIVE DAYS with Spencer's dad.  Yes, you read that correctly.  Spencer's dad, usually referred to around here as "Gramps".

Since I'm not pregnant and all our kids are old enough to leave (barely), which hasn't happened, ever, and a fantastic neighbor of ours was willing to help us arrange travel itineraries, we planned a trip to Cozumel, Mexico!  Heaven!  Cozumel is just off the Yucatan Peninsula, about a 20 minute boat ride from Playa Del Carmen, which is about a 60 minute bus ride from Cancun, which is about the worst place on the planet, I think.  (It's like an international Vegas).  But south of Cancun is one of the best places in the world. 

After spending a week in worry mode, a week in hyperventilation mode, and a week in super-prep (and super-prayer) mode, I was ready to leave the kids behind with Gramps.  I knew the kids would have a lot of fun with Gramps, I just was worried that any of the million things that could go wrong every day, would-- while I was out of the country.   

So I made a ton of food and put it in tupperware, made lists for everything, and told them I loved them a million and two times each.   And when the time came, I was ready to say goodbye with nary a tear!

And then it was just me, my best friend in the whole world, and not even a cell phone to come between us!

 I held all the luggage because my poor husband had the responsibility of holding the camera.  Then I ended up with the camera because he was in the mood for a phone-game.  Ah, the things we do for love.

 First night: Playa Del Carmen.  Our hotel was cheap, but you'd never know it.  Oh, except I'm sure it wouldn't pass "code" if anybody were checking, and you had to pay extra for shampoo, it didn't even have a clock, and our "wake-up call" (which was supposedly a knock) never came.   But the towels were swans, so you know it was a classy establishment.

Spencer's such a sucker for romance.

Of course our first sight-seeing was to the Walmart of Playa.  We needed sunblock.  And flavors of yogurt you can't get in the states.  Plus, you know, Walmart. We're related.

Above: This is the scene just inside the parking lot under Walmart.  A local handicraft booth with festive music and decor.  Spencer also took a few photos of the impressive "health and wellness" department inside, (did you know that is his department for Walmart US?), but those might not be all that interesting...

Below: 7 am in Playa, not much foot traffic yet. We are headed out to meet our Adventure Tour group for a day of being awesome!

 First part of the tour: "mountain biking" (those bikes didn't even have gears, so it was more like "biking") to the zip lines.  Interesting: Spencer took this back-handed while riding in front of me.  Talk about high adventure!

 Getting ready for the ziplines.  I thought I was going to die.  Spencer secured his place as the "favorite" among the tour group by making a spectacle of himself each time.  You know, yelling, acting like he was running upside down, etc.  The usual crazy Clive stuff :)

 After the ziplines, we rappeled into a cenote (underwater cave lake).  I wasn't feeling so sure about this:

 But I did it.

 It was fun!

Below: After a CUH-RAZY ride in some 50-year-old all-terrain army truck type thing, where-in we all thought we were going to get crushed, we snorkeled in this beautiful cenote to have a geology lesson from our tour guide, Rodrigo (who was a Mexican Jack Black, only wearing more clothes).

Below:  Then we snorkeled in this, which was truly scary.  Underwater river.  I have a bruise all up my shoulder to prove how dark and small it was down there.  I think I hyperventilated a bit.  Just a little.  But then when we got to an opening and I found Rodrigo's flashlight I relaxed.  And then he showed us the hundreds of bats living just above our heads.  Thanks, Rodrigo.
Spencer was cool as a cucumber, as always. Or I assume so.  It was a little dark.

 After this, we went to a cenote that had a natural pathway into it, where a Mayan priest performed a Mayan prayer for us.  We ate lunch in a little place where a Mayan family makes food for the tours that come through.  The food was so good!  We hiked through the Mayan Jungle to a place where they gave us all Tequila shots (Spencer and I found some punch) and tried to sell us pictures of ourselves :) 

We finished the tour and jumped on a ferry to take us over to Cozumel.  Our hotel there was a great place that met our needs fantastically (other than sort of hard beds and some early morning construction).  It wasn't too fancy but the staff acted like we were paying top dollar, setting us up with anything we needed.  I like that.  So if you need a recommendation, please ask.  I'd love to discuss it!

That night we didn't feel like going out, so we went down to the game room in the hotel and played some pool.  You might be surprised that Spencer won, and he didn't even have to try too hard.  The picture below shows how steep the competition was getting.  Some serious stuff.  I'm all about good form.

The next day we slowly sauntered out of bed and eventually made it down to the hotel's restaurant for breakfast.  This was our diving day.  I was really nervous.  It does not feel natural to breath underwater.  I've done it several times before, but many of my dives have included crying and panicking.

It was a beautiful day and I'm happy to report that we had a great 100 ft dive!  This was really great for both Spencer and I.  The colors are so beatiful, the purple sea fans, the green and red sea sponges and all these corals and fishes...oh, it is another world.  And it was fun to let the current take us, hand in hand, through the silent water world, taking in all that we saw.

Our second dive of the day didn't go so well.  The second my head went under the water my sinuses would feel like they were going to explode, so I couldn't go down. 

 So I snorkeled above the divers and stayed where my head would remain intact.  I enjoyed swimming through the plumes of bubbles from the divers, and Spencer would bring things to the surface to let me see them (sea sponge, conch shell, etc)  and then take them back down.  Isn't he the cutest!?!

 I'm not trying to be cute here, I'm trying to squeeze myself into my wetsuit.  Have you ever tried that?  It's hard.  It's hard not to yell swear-words at the top of your lungs. 

That evening we rented a moped for the remainder of our trip and started to explore.  This little place is called "Corona Beach", which was a beatiful place to sit and enjoy some nachos (yum!).  We came back to this beach the next night to snorkel, and saw two HUGE lobsters fighting.  Senor Curious dove down and actually caught one!  Not kidding!  I about peed myself when I saw him coming to the surface with it, and tried to get out of his way.  We swam to shore and decided to take it to the hotel restuarant and ask if they would prepare it for us.  I honestly thought they would be really happy for us for catching our own lobster!  Javier, as we called him, was as long as Spencer's fore-arm (fist included) and two or three times the width of it. 

We got to the moped only to wonder aloud, "where are the keys?!?"  We looked everywhere.  Our best guess was either in the seat compartment or the bottom of the sea.  We put Javier in the basket and covered it with clothes so he couldn't get out.  His creepy eyes followed me everywhere, just to creep me out.  The sun dipped further into the sky.

A woman rollerbladed by and asked if we needed help.  We explained that we couldn't find the key and needed to contact our rental agent, Efrain.  She agreed to help and then asked about the lobster. 

"Oh, you know, that is disgusting, guys, really!  You know, this is protected waters, you know?  This is really illegal what you are doing, did you know?" She said in a spanish accent.  We had no idea.  In hindsight, maybe we should have thought about that, but we didn't know we were in the national park of Chankanab, so we thought it was okay, since it wasn't a shell or coral or anything.  Well, we put Javier back and so she helped us.  Sadly, the camera was locked in the seat compartment of the moped, so no pics of our almost hand-caught dinner.  Spencer deserved lobster that night but it was 30.00!  When we could have had it for free!  It was hard to pay up, under such circumstances.  Goodbye Javier, you were mostly just gross to me.  But to Spencer, you were everything!

Anyway, Corona Beach:

 Downtown Cozumel, the Plaza or square.  We loved this little area.  Especially in the evening when it was cool, and mostly empty.  So beatiful.

We are tragically (awesomely) frugal.  Here is our super awesome cheapo breakfast.  Mangoes, croissants, and private-label Nutella, with this really yummy drink called "Ades" which is nectar and soy milk.

 Thursday, our last full day, we packed a day bag, grabbed our snorkel gear, and let the moped cotroll our destinies.  We had not even a watch to tell us what to do!  We made our way around the entire island, stopping wherever we pleased and moving on whenever we pleased.

 What a hunk, huh? 

 While we're ridin':

 We spent an hour or so at this beach club relaxing in the shade while somebody brings drinks and food and you can jump in the water any time you like.  I told Spencer that my only requirement for planning the trip was that I could sit at a beach somewhere and somebody would put a pina colada (virgin, of course) in my hand.  This satisfied that requirement.  And felt so good!

 Punta Sur (South Point):  We would have had to pay to get into this beach.  Hah, we're no suckers.  Only free beaches for us, my friend.  But this was the turning point in the road around the island, we were leaving Carribean waters behind and entering Atlantic territory.

 Beautiful.

So, this is what we are supposed to look like after a day at the beach, right?

Okay, good, I think I've pretty much got the look down.  Yep.  Glowing.

We love our towel personalities.

Last day!  Enjoying the Plaza again.

 In attempting to get a good shot of my toenails (see below), we found ourselves enjoy the bench a little upside-down-like.  But it was fun.  And reminded me of being younger and more agile.

Isn't a good toenail polish a little bit like having a small reside of laughing gas leftover near your nostrils?  By that I mean, everytime I look down at these orangey-goldish toenails, I feel happy somehow.  And the color with the back ground makes me want to do some interior decorating.

If only we could have found a way to fit these sombreros in the overhead compartment.  Oh, and if they were free.  Cause we don't like to buy things.

 Sneaking some not-nutella before our cab to the airport comes: 

 Goodbye, island of our freedom!

I've got to tell you, back in the days when our first honeymoon was the big thing, I couldn't imagine loving this guy any more.  I don't even know how to describe now the ways I love him.  And we're just 7 years into this thing!  I can't wait to see the ways he makes my heart grow in the years to come.  I love you, babe.  More than ever.

Home Is....

Last June, we packed up and left Chicago.  We travelled homelessly for six weeks before we finally came to Arkansas and our new home.  Whenever Campbell would feel tired or overwhelmed during that time, she would say "I want a go home!"

Now we've been in our current home for 7 1/2 months.  And still, when she gets tired or frustrated she cries "I want a go home!" Even when we ARE at home. We've tried and tried to explain to her that this is our home. She doesn't seem to want to accept this.

A couple of nights ago Spencer and I both awoke to Campbell's blood-curdling scream.  If it was an intense enough scream to wake Spencer up, you know it was serious!  I ran upstairs to her room and as soon as she saw me she said, "Mama, I want a go home!!!" 

So yesterday, Spencer was playing with her and I was in the kitchen making dinner.  Spencer said, "Campbell, where is your home?"

"I show you!" She said, and hurried off, with purpose and direction in her stride.

"Right.... right....." She said as she walked.

Then she came to the kitchen, wrapped her arms around my leg and said, "It's right here!"

That was one of those moments that make a frustrating day worthwhile.  That make you wish you could promise to have a thousand more frustrating days, ten thousand more meltdowns, a million disappointments, if it would mean you could keep them little like this forever. 

 Campbell's smile, her voice, her slight lisp, her flat "r"s, her sweet little fingers, her excitement, her angry gravelly yell, her giggle, her evil cackle, her need to wear a skirt with every outfit including dresses.  Things I would bottle up if I could.

Pink tutus, Black dog

 Introducing: Mr. Peabody!  Nicknames: Peabs, Agent Peabs, Agent Peanut Butter, Sir Peabs-a-lot, Stinky Dog, Stinker, Holy Cow You Smelly Thing, Little Miss BeePotty (that one is from Campbell, who thinks she's saying his real name). 

Mr. Peabody is a 9-year-old Dachsund mix.  His previous owner loved him dearly, but because of personal circumstances she needed to give him away.  I went over to meet him and consider the idea of having a dog and he loved me, and his previous owner liked that and put him in my car.  So we sort of accidentally took him in. 

He is a really really good dog!  Almost no trouble.  Oh, except that he smells.  He smells SOOO BAD!  I took him to the vet though, and it's just a bacterial skin infection (um, EWWW!), so hopefully with enough pricey dog-prescriptions, he'll clear up and smell like his inner rose. 

He wants needs to be immediately next to me/on me at all times.  He cries and whines and barks if I go upstairs (where he is not allowed to go).  He nuzzles his muzzle up between my arms when we have family prayer. He jumps up to my lap whenever it becomes available, and he watches me constantly, presumably in awe at my goddess-like presence.

 He's so good with the kids.  They try to break him in half, and he's almost always patient and calm about it.  They love him.  He tolerates them.  It works.

Last night the girls put on a show.  They love to stand just out of view (like behind this make-shift curtain) and announce in their best announcer voice, "INTRODUCINNNNNNGGGG......Julia Raisina Clive" or "Julia Cambo Clive" or some other form of Julia.  It's a favorite name around here.

 I loved Campbell's wardrobe malfunction.  I couldn't help myself.  Could you?

 Cadence hogs both microphones.  She's singing along to an Alison Krause song ("Where have you been, my long lost friend, it's good to see you again...)

Life with these kids is such a blur:

 And pretty soon they are going to be all grown up.  Don't.  Please.  Don't.

 Below: They grasp hands, and, as rehearsed and discussed, prepared to jump off at the same time.  Campbell, ever over-zealous, goes for it while Cadence, ever thinking of new opportunities, decides it'd be interesting to pull back instead.  The physics were, indeed, interesting, though confusing for Cam.

 Where was Layla during all of this?  Oh, giving me this look:

 And this one:

 Be still my beating heart!  I fall in love with Little Miss several times a day:

A mess of mesh:

Our lives are filled with beads and bows and ruffles and tutus and costumes and dance parties and productions and twirls and curtsies and pink and purple but mostly pink and pink pink pink.  I can't complain at all.  In fact, I love it!  But it's also filled with dramatic accusations of "You HATE this outfit!!" or "You HATE ME because I chose this outfit!" or "Nobody wants me to have fun in this family!" or "You NEVER let me pick my own clothes!" (Um, pretty much every day she does).  There's also that old familiar deep, gravelly, red-faced scream of Campbell's: "NO!!! I NOT go to time out!!!" Or "NO!!! I NOT SPONCH BUG!!!" (Spencer likes to call her "SpongeBob" to get this reaction out of her.)  And Layla, while she's pretty easy going, makes herself heard as well.  So, girls.  We're dramatic, we're emotional, but we're loads of cute cute fun!

But seriously.  What is your life filled with?

Nothing Says "I Love You" Like...

...Spread sheets. Especially an entire presentation in charts and graphs; are you swooning yet?

In the spirit of being original (and frugal, which Spencer has no trouble with), I told Spencer that all I wanted for this Valentine's was a homemade card/heartfelt letter. I made Spencer a cheesy scrapbook-y thing with an even cheesier poem glued sideways on the back (it's hard to get things right when you are simultaneously trying to keep the kids from dumping out all the contents of every box of crackers in the house.)

Anyway, so my gift was cheesy. But heartfelt. And this is what that ol' hopeless romantic of a husband I've got made for me:

Yes, he handmade the envelope.

Inside the envelope:

Inside the analysis:

Oh, you want to see the graphs and charts close-up? Here are a few:

This next one is neither a joke about my weight nor his hair, lest some of us be confused (DAN):

I'm not sure what else to say about it, it's really a treasure. He was so pleased with his work that he took it to work the next day. I was so pleased with it that I've worn make up every day since then.

He may be a business geek, but he's MINE. And his love-language may be Excel, but I'll take it :) (besides, the charts and graphs make it easy to understand and visualize, am I right?)


Here are some other V-day pics from the Clive Res. :

A card that Cadence got from a friend. I've never seen a more appropriate card. Bedtime was by definition a "fiasco" that night. Sooooooooooooooooo hyper. Hyper. Remember when that used to be a buzz word? It was like the "random" of the 90s. Am I right?

I caught Layla taking advantage of my distraction with her hyper sisters. I carefully kept most chocolates and sweets out of her reach. But didn't bother with sharp objects. Oh, and then I took pictures instead of freaking out and grabbing them. I'm so good at my job.

Mamaw Clive sent a Valentine's box with some serious goodness, including a new dress and skirt for the girls. They were over-the-top excited.

I tried to get a picture of the girls in their romantic tu-tu's, but again, HY PER!, so I said after a few tries, trying to communicate to Cadence that it was unnecessary to put Layla in a headlock, "I give up, let's quit." "But MOM! Clive's don't EVER give up!!" Eh. Did you know i"m only half-clive? So I had to pretend to get a good one before I was "done".

I was quite pleased with myself for this little number:

lot's of paper and stickers and glue and Cadence being in "manager mode" (wherein she shouts orders and directions in a very confident and superior way. Her managerial style is one with high standards).

Spencer's Idea of A Good Time

Did you see us (NW Arkansans) on the news? We got a lot of snow on Wednesday. Record snow falls in some areas, like as in 24 inches somewhere in Bville. We didn't get 24 inches but we measured 11 1/2 a couple hours before it let up.

So what do Clives do when the snow dumps on us?

The same thing they do at the beach. They just jump in. (I, of course, played my Orton card on this one, and stayed out of the snow) (Ortons: that doesn't mean I think any of you would stay out, most of you probably wouldn't. It just means that sometimes I get to opt out of the mandatory Clive craziness).

In his defense, he mostly grew up in regions where snow was a thing of legends. As in, only in stories.



I woke up in the morning to a cold cold kiss as he dripped in the snow that he was covered in. He had just had Cadence be his camera-man, which didn't turn out quite right, so I encouraged him to go again and this time I got it.



Later on, Spencer and Cadence shovel the walks. I wait indoors with hot chocolate.

Cadence gets cozy in her new igloo.
Spencer decided he was too hot from shoveling the snow, and needed a good cool-down.

Last week we took all the kids sledding, including myself and Layla, which is unusual. For Layla and the snow, it was literally love at first sight. She was so happy.



Have I mentioned I prefer to stay indoors during winter weather? I try to distract myself from cleaning the house, since it goes like this: I clean the house, while 3 little professional mess-makers work even harder than I do. My shrine to romance:

Cadence and I like to make chocolate covered pretzels. Hers are awesome because they have so much chocolate and sprinkles. yum!

How to Quit Being a Jerk

Here's a little story for you:



When I was a senior in high school I worked in a little cubicle and as luck would have it, shared my small office space with the one boy voted by my friends and I as the cutest of all the boys in school. After time, our relationship would progress to be one of dear friends, but in this story, we're not there yet. I'm just a nerdy file-manager who is desperately trying to get the attention of the cute internet-guy that sits a few feet away from me and who has nobody else to pay attention to.



In my desperation to converse with internet-guy, I one day did something totally thoughtless. I gossiped about one of my very closest friends and how her "friendship" with one of internet-guy's closest friends seemed to be secretly romantic (which it turns out it wasn't, and I knew as much. Again, just for the sake of having something to talk about). It was a dumb-girl thing to do and while I didn't say anything mean about my friend, it certainly wasn't a loyal act.



Naturally, it got back to my long-time very close friend, who was not happy. Laura's family took me with them to St. George a couple of times. I can't tell you the silliness that abounded. If you could see this picture close-up, you would be amazed that somebody as beautiful as Laura would hang out with that british-chap-lookin-thing.

Surprise! Of course she wasn't. After a long talk with her trying to understand why I would do something like that and me not being able to figure it out, I went home and wondered about myself. When did I become a jerk?



I'd always thought of myself as a nice person. I thought I was loyal and a good friend. I wasn't especially nice-on-the-eyes, I wasn't talented or athletic, so these traits of loyalty and kindness were all I was riding on. So I felt lost.



I prayed, I read the scriptures, and then I did what I do best: I made a list. A list to help me get my balance back. I keep this list in my scriptures and when those times in my life come and I feel all out of balance and off-kilter (what is kilter, anyway?), I read it again, and pick a few things to work on.



I'm sharing this for my kids. And so that if the original gets lost, I won't turn into a total jerk. And maybe for transparency. Now you know what goes on in my head. What my weaknesses are. But that I'm trying. Always.



10 years later, I still need to work on all of these things all the time.



Here's the list, appropriately titled,



HOW TO QUIT BEING A JERK:



Prayer

Scripture Study

Tell everyone in family "I love you"

Think one nice thing about everyone I talk to (at least one)

Think of two nice things about everyone I think something negative about

Completely quit worrying about what other people think--don't even make it an issue

Don't stop worrying about what other people feel

Don't be selfish

Be grateful

Be strong, devoted, dedicated (personal admonition given to me)

Be responisble and sensible

Be patient and willing to listen

Don't talk so much

Eat right and drink lots of water

Be positive

Be yourself

Be a light (not a poster) (This is to say, bring warmth and guidance but not be blaring advertisement for righteousness)

Be humble

Be faithful

Serve Serve Serve (find a way to serve someone every day)

Stop gossiping

What would you add to the list?