How The Other Half Lived

(Warning: this post contains heavy utilization of italics.  heavy.)

Hey Gramps, last week Spencer went on a quick business trip and mentioned to the kids that they'd see him the next night when we get him at the airport.  The rest of the day Campbell begged to go to the airport so we could play with Daddy and Gramps.  Apparently, she thinks that we took you there and there you stayed.  But the point is, she misses you.

The kids had so much fun when Gramps was here.  They loved it!  And Gramps gained a whole new perspective into what it's like to be me.  And it wore him out, which is a little bit validating. 

When we returned from our fun in the sun, he told me several times that my life is too stressful because death is waiting at every turn for these kids: the front door is too easily opened by Campbell, and before you know it, both little ones are running in opposite directions down the street; the kitchen! (enough said); the ladder on the swing set is Layla's personal favorite spot to play preschool roullette, and the stairs, bathrooms, bookshelves...the toddlers are always in peril. 

Yep, he's right.  That's my life with two little ones who are both in that stage, always going in opposite directions (and it will be yours, Elisabeth, pretty soon!).  So he took Spencer to the hardware store and they found gates and other things to make my life easier.  He really wanted to make my day-to-day a little easier!

We loved receiving his email updates each day in Cozumel.  They were hilarious.  You want to see them?  Of course you do.  They capture the week pretty well:

MONDAY REPORT:

I had a ball with your beautiful kids yesterday.




Lowlight of the day was stopping for happy meals at McDonalds after dropping you guys at the airport. Unquestionably more food on the ground than in the kids stomachs. When it was time to go, I went to get Layla out of her high chair and as I was doing it I heard a commotion at the door – looked up and saw that Cadence had tackled Campbell to the ground (literally) because Campbell was trying to go out to the car before Layla and I got there. I have decided not to let the kids out of their room for the rest of the week.


Highlight of the afternoon was your playdough ice cream factory. Cadence essentialy informed everyone that there were not 10 commandments that God handed Moses – it was actually 11 with the first and most important being “Thou shalt not mix colors of play dough!” She had much cause to rent her clothes and gnash her teeth at the sinfulness of her two sisters.


Early-evening blockbuster highlight was MOVIE NIGHT featuring, as Campbell called it, “Rapunzel” (Tangled). Even Layla was deeply involved. So involved that she managed to either turn off the TV or stop the DVD at least 5 times during the movie as she would find one remote or another.

We decided that it would be an excellent night to camp out .. we chose to “camp on the tramp!” I shouldn’t have told the girls about having heard an owl all night during my Friday camp out with my scouts in the Mojave desert – Campbell asked me about owls, and witches and ghosts at least 6 times before we fell asleep. Highlights: Cadence playing Miley Cyrus as bed time music; seeing a satellite fly across the sky and I was able to teach Cadence how to tell satellites from shooting stars. Campbell woke up in the middle of the night crying for mom & dad (“OK, they’ll be here Friday”) but after reassuring her a ton of times she fell back asleep. When we woke up in the AM, there was frost on Spencer’s sleeping bag. Overall Cadence says she loved it and Campbell is now less enthusiastic about the experience. By the way, we handled Layla by putting my bedroom window open and having the intercom on loud by the window so we could hear it outside. Layla had a great night.


Now on to day 2!


Have a ball at the toy store in Missouri!  (Where Cadence said we were going on our trip).


CLIFF CLIVE


TUESDAY REPORT:


Tuesday was terrific.




Cadence and I decided that an outstanding way to invest our week would be to invent the greatest type of pancakes in the history of the world. After brainstorming a while we realized we had insufficient ingredients in our house to achieve such a lofty objective. Only solution: a trip to Walmart. Contrary to the warnings I had received in advance of attempting such a feat with three little girls, I found it very simple – just throw Campbell and Layla into the cart as if they were groceries. Only downside was accepting that several of our purchases would have bite marks on them as the kids attempted to gnaw through the wrappers.


So, yesterday we launched our invention quest with two recipes entirely from Cadence’s mind:


� Neon Gummy Glow Worm pancakes with whipped cream, cherry syrup and colored sprinkles on top.

� Same as above, but with Jelly Beans inside the pancakes.




Today the quest continued for breakfast which featured:


� Trail mix pancakes (almonds removed) with whipped cream, chocolate sauce and M&Ms on top (Cadence all the way)


� Hot dog & cheese (Queso Fresco) pancakes with maple syrup on top (my invention)


So far, here are the rankings:


       Cadence                       Campbell & Layla                  Gramps
#1   Neon glow worms         It’s all good                          Hot Dog Cheese


#2  Jelly Bean                       “                                          Neon Gummy Glow Worms (fantastic but a pain to cook as they melt like crazy. Using our new 4-color sugar sprinkle applicator you get a georgeous 4-color toping … another Cadence invention … see attached photo)


#3  Hot Dog Cheese            “                                           Jelly Bean (Pretty bad)


#4   Trail Mix                       “ though the M&M sprinkles were probably Layla’s highlight of the entire experience to-date   Trail Mix (Pretty bad – buts that’s the way it goes!)
                               


Low Lights of the day:


As with most male-female interactions, patterns in our interactions begin to emerge and that deja-vu experience begins cropping up frequently in interactions. This happens many times in my conversations with Campbell. Example: (she wanted to bring her pacifier on the drive to Cadence’s school, I asked her to put it back in her bed, she refused, I removed it from her mouth and threw it on her bed at which point she began whining severely)


Gramps: “I don’t want to hear it”
Campbell: “WELL I JUST WANT TO HEAR IT!!!!!”


Fresh new insight: Might it be that males and females are wired fundamentally differently? …that it may be that full understanding of each other is impossible, at least prior to the resurrection?

Last night before bath time Cadence came running up to me and pointed to a 1/2 centimeter long scratch on her toe:


Cadence: “I hurt my toe!”
Gramps: “Great”
Cadence: “No, I said I have a scratch on my toe!”
Gramps: “Great”
Cadence: “Why is it great that I have a scratch on my toe?!?”
Gramps: “Because this gives you the chance to become tougher!”
Cadence: “But it might hurt when I put my toe in the bath!”
Gramps: “You are thinking about this way too much, just focus on something else”
Cadence: realizes there is no point to continuing the conversation and gets ready to bathe.



WEDNESDAY REPORT:
You guys may be having an adventuresome time but AR is pretty happenin’ today! There was an earthquake this morning (4.5 on the richter scale – I felt nothing) and right now there is a tornado watch for Cook county!




Your three angels are doing great. Layla’s behavior towards me has really changed in that she is constantly coming up to me and hugging my knee – this didn’t happen during the first day or so. She and Cadence have slept thru every night whereas Campbell woke up both Monday night and last night. I was asleep in the guest room when at 2:30 I was awakened to a shouted “Where are you Gramps?”. I went into her room and she asked for a drink. After her drink she asked to change her PJ’s. I was thinking, wow, after 55 years of eternal progress, I have ended up as a room service boy on the night shift for a 2 year old!


Last night we had a movie night with Pizza – watched the Wizard of Oz. As I was putting the movie on I commented that this was one of the greatest movies ever made.


Cadence: “Yeah, but it’s not as good as “Barbie in the 12 Dancing Princesses”


Gramps: “Yeah, it’s not as good -- its way better!”


Cadence: “Just because it’s better for you doesn’t make it better for me.”


Gramps (thinking): “wow, so bright, so articulate, so beautiful, so quick … and so very wrong … much like Barak Obama”


The assault on my favorite kids movie of all time continued this AM. I asked Campbell what her favorite part of the Wizard of Oz” was, and she enthusiastically responded: “Rapunzel!!!”


This morning on our pancake safari, Cadence created blue pancakes (food coloring) with blue Peeps (Cadence cut them up) with blue frosting and whipped cream on top. She considered this creation one notch below her favorite (jelly bean pancakes). I would put them in third place behind neon glow worms and behind cheese/hot dog. See attached photos.

The play date at the Christiansens was a hit. Cadence decided she would rather play with the two girls across the street than go to see Gnomeo & Juliett yesterday so we canceled that babysitting appointment (one less favor owed).


Love you guys!



We love you, Gramps!!!  How many dads would do that for their kids?  Spend 5 full days and nights alone with 3 very energetic little kids?  We are so grateful for your willingness to do this for us, and that you did it so well and with so much love.  The kids miss you, and we wish we could have had more time to spend with you, too.  You are a wonderful, major factor in our family culture and we thank you for the diligence and dedication you put into raising your own family so that the characterisitics you value could be a part of our lives and (we're hoping) our children's lives.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!

-Mard.