Every once in a while I hear something that makes me think to myself, "those words deserve to be cross-stitched..." And within moments, the project is done. And before I know it, I'm hanging another lovely proverb, held taut in a round wooden frame that is blessed by the heavenly touch of mauve ruffles and a little lace to finish it off. Yes, the corridors of my mind are lined with this collection I have made. Are yours?
Would you like to know some of the cross-stitches that I keep there? (don't be put off by my mixture of serious with dumb, please. They're my cross-stitches, after all)
"Love is Better than Hate" (the immortal words of Mignon. Found thoughtfully written on a note on the fridge).
"I Get Wet" (This is the title of an album by Andrew W.K., who is a very hard-core rocker from NYC. Spencer and I have decided that the meaning of this is that it's the answer to the question, "Andrew--what do you do if it rains?" Sounds simple, but what would your answer be? Mine would be, "well, I don't have enough umbrellas, so maybe we shouldn't go, or maybe I'll just pack enough jackets and blankets but that means we'll have to come back early so let's be sure to not get too far from the parking lot and ....")
"If You Can't Say Something Nice, Don't Say Nothin' At All". (Why do I still need this one at 27? I do.)
"Tawanda!!!" (remember Fried Green Tomatoes? Oh that I were that spunky...)
"Don't Show Up as a Guest Empty Handed"
"Tomorrow's Another Day, and I'm Thirsty Anyway, So Bring On the Rain."
"Pain Is An Old Friend." (Spencer's Dad says this often. I'm trying to make myself believe it.)
"If Someone Asks, "Are You a God?" You Say "YES"!!!" (Can you name that (funniest ever) movie?)
"Instead of having "answers"on a math test, they should just call them "impressions", and if you got a different "impression", so what? Can't we all be brothers?" (Jack Handy. Okay, let's be serious--wouldn't ALL of Jack Handey's deep thoughts make awesome cross-stitches? Take this one, for example: "If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason." I could go on...)
"Don't Mess It Up, Mard." (I won't explain this one. Just, if you are now analyzing what type of emotional baggage I come with, you're probably right to do so.)
"Last night I had the strangest dream, where everything was exactly how it seemed, there were no concerns about the world getting warmer, people thought that they were just being rewarded for treating others as they'd like to be treated, obeying stop signs and curing diseases, for mailing letters with the address of the sender, now we can swim any day in November." (Postal Service)
"How Will They Know Unless We Teach Them So?"
"80/20, Mard!!" (Spencer is always trying to convince me that the best way to do housework is to do a 20% job, because with 20% of the work you get 80% of the results. He's right, but...)
"If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself." (I can't help it, I want 100/100. I want it done to my standards).
"Like Water Off a Duck's Back" (From Dad Orton. I don't know if this is one people are familiar with or not-- you know, it's like saying, don't let it get to you.)
"Mardee, Keep Your Emotions Separate From the Issue. Don't Let Your Emotions Get Involved." (My mother's words all throughout jr high, high school, and even college. It was always the best advice, the advice I wished I'd taken...and still is.)
"It's Great To Be Alive, Even Better To Be A Clive!" (Words from my Father-in-law that I appreciated very much while I was desperately trying to trick Spencer into making a Clive out of me.)
There are more... many, many more. But you're lucky my brain is only half-way on tonight (I don't know, I feel like I need to replace a few bulbs up there or something. Maybe doing the dishes like I'm supposed to will help).
Oh, and here are some cute pictures of my kids, in case that is why you read my blog (why else would you?)
Post Script Added a Day Late: "Just Say 'Okay Mom'" Can't believe I forgot that one, thanks, Mer.
11 comments:
I appreciate these. I will work on combining my "cross stitches" in my mind. As soon as you got to the part you asked us to share I went totally blank.haha. heaven knows I need to "replace a few light bulbs" as well... good saying.
I don't get the 80/20. How can I get 80% of enjoyment when only 20% of my house is clean/dishes are done?
My mental cross-stitch would be a picture of Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber wearing a big cowboy hat and carrying a pinwheel, and the caption would say "Just the Essentials."
Also as a side note, I hate giving my kids yogurt and fantasize about never buying it again. It is just too messy and it makes me mad. Yogurt on the carpet. Grrr. But it's so good for them! A quandry.
you are so witty i got a good laugh tonight, thanks! my cross stich phrase would be PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON!!!!!! just like that all caps believe or not I have to remind my 6 year old a couple times a day that she has to wear pants outside
You're so funny! Having made a "Welcome to our Home," crosstitch with the round wooden frame and mauve ruffles before, I now prefer the kind sans ruffles. But my crossstitch now would be, "It's OK." As in, you're just fine. For whoever needs the reminder at the time. Usually my kids and sometimes myself.
Awesome post. I totally laughed.
And that quote is from Ghost Busters. That movie raised me.
C'mon mardee! what about "Just say OK MOM" i think I really am going to cross stitch that.
I really enjoyed this post. You make me laugh.. I remember lauging my head of at that Jack handy quote about the screaming tree's.
love you
I was going to say Ghost Buster's, but somebody already beat me to it. Thoroughly enjoyed this post. Some in my mind "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I said I'm sorry." "I'm good." "Well butter my buns and call me a biscuit." "Stick a fork in me because I'm done." "I like crap." "The Church is true."
I really DO need to learn to cross stitch, because how else will I immortalize all my Dad's (via Grandma Orton) little quips of wisdom? Off the top of my head, here are some favorites, "Use your head for something besides a hat rack!", "I'm gonna' kick you into the middle of next week," "When your mouth flies open, your brain flies out of gear," "More fun than a barrel of dead monkeys," "It's better to say I'm glad I did, than I wish I had", and "If you do what you always did, you'll get what you always got (Mark TWAIN - not Orton). To name a few.
I think "Don't Make Me Cut You" is the best. It could go in any room of the house, and applies to SO many situations. You know I love a good, versatile cross-stitch. As long as it has plenty of hearts, ruffles and mauve.
I thought it was "Spit off a ducks back". Great post Mardee, really great post.
Devin JUST said this morning to me "like water off a ducks back." I don't know what he was referring too, but he just said it... anyway.
Orton thing I guess. You crazies.
amie
So in Relief Society a few weeks ago, a new sister walked in, and I thought "Wow, that looks a lot like Mardee." Then she started talking, and I thought, "Wow, she acts just like Mardee." Then, she interested herself: "Hi, my name is Mardee..." Seriously! I'm still weirded out.
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