This week was the tournament games for soccer, you loose, you don't play, you win you play, I was really nervous. I played goalie and I didn't let any balls pass me, but a girl on my team missed the ball, so the other team scored one point. We couldn't score on them, the goalie was just to good, but the coach wouldn't sub her out, so my team lost. I am really sad about it, but we are going to have a team picnic soon.
My team:
Coach Jacob Gulbransen
Brighton (coaches daughter)
Katie
Progdill
Safi
Whitney
Andy
Kaelyn
Brook
Makenzie
Cadence (me)
Questions of the week:
ld be
1. If I could go anywhere in the world, I'd go to either Brazil or London England because for brazil, my dad and his family lived there and my aunt went there for her mission and I have always loved the culture, and London because A lot of books are set around London, like, Harry potter, BFG, things like that, and because it is one of the most famous cities in the world, like paris, but we've already been there.
2. My 3 favorite songs are 1. Fire, by Gavin DeGraw, 2. Middle of starting over, Sabrina carpenter, 3. thumbs, Sabrina carpenter because they are all fun to sing, and they all sound pretty cool, an 1 and 2 are inspirational.
3. 2 things I hope I never have to do is get surgery or get divorced, that would be hard for my children and I if I got divorced, I think that it is just a tiny bit scary to have someone have to cut my body open and either remove or put something in me, and then have to stitch me back up.
"There's a tire swing, baby, at the end of our rope"
Sunday, May 21, 2017
Sunday, May 14, 2017
Perfectly Imperfect
Today our Relief Society had a special 2 hour long mother's day meeting, including a slide-show and strawberry short-cake. It was wonderful. The theme was Perfectly Imperfect and I was asked to speak about the topic in a way that made the women in attendance feel ok with accepting their own imperfect journey. It was supposed to be fun and lighthearted and put people at ease, specifically those moms who are feeling like they are just never enough.
PERFECTLY IMPERFECT: Mother’s Day RS talk May 14, 2017
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything,
That's how the light gets in. —leanard cohen.
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything,
That's how the light gets in. —leanard cohen.
This is an excerpt from my family blog from Mother’s Day 2011:
At
church the kids were perfect angels! Campbell only tried to escape about
40 times. Layla bit each sister. There were goldfish
everywhere. Brother Williams, sitting closest to us on the bench, got
kicked repeatedly. Oh, and Layla chucked her shoe, which bounced off of
Brother Smith's forehead and somehow landed three rows back in a teenage boy's
hands! The kids were so crazy, Spencer and I didn't even notice the shoe
thing. Reports trickled in after the meeting ended.
Interestingly,
that was 6 years ago, and if I had written a summary of every Sunday since
then, they would all sound eerily similar, right up until today.
Let me
tell you about another Sunday, one a few months before that same Mother’s Day:
At a stake conference a visiting authority got
up to speak. I will never forget his message. He spoke of a new mother, who found that with
one child it now took her until 9 am to complete her daily household
tasks. And then in time she had another,
and found that, with 2 children, it now took her until 10 am to complete her
work. He continued to enumerate each additional child until at 8 children she
found that it took her all the way until dinner time to complete her work each
day.
I have no idea what the point of this talk
was. All I know is that I had 3 children
and I had never once known what it felt like to “complete my work”. And I had 3 children that were currently
trying to dismantle the cultural hall while I desperately tried to not click my
heels while chasing them and shushing them.
By the end of his story I scooped up my little girls, ran to a dark room,
and sobbed. To say I felt deflated
wouldn’t quite begin to cover it.
During that time I ended most of my
days feeling completely exhausted, and yet, to look around, you would have no
idea what I did all day. There was no
physical evidence that I was doing anything worthwhile, and yet, I could barely
see straight by the time the kids were asleep.
Ok, that part is still true in my current life.
But during that time that was so discouraging
to me. I felt like all day I chose which
guilt to feel—do I feel guilty for ignoring the kids to get the dishes done, or
guilty for having a messy smelly kitchen so that I can read to the kids? Do I
feel guilty that I had to get mean to get the kids to eat their broccoli or
guilty that I was too lenient and they’ll have unhealthy pregnancies because they’re
not getting enough greens? I was
swimming in mom guilt and exhaustion and a list of to do’s that I could never
possibly keep up with, and then came that stake conference talk. And you know what it did? It got us talking, me and the new mom friends
I was making—talking about how we all felt during that talk. About how we all felt like we were drowning
and that we could never be enough and that we were so far from “super mom”. And knowing that we all felt that way,
something magical happened—we all started to feel less that way. And we all started to feel more comfortable
letting each other see our imperfections.
And letting them be seen took away their power over us. And that gave us room to look around at who
needed our offerings, imperfections and all.
And now my motto is this: I show up.
I don’t have anything amazing to offer except that I am willing. And
willingness is just as important as any talent.
“Ring the Bells that Still Can Ring. Forget your perfect offering”
Just in case any of you are still
feeling like Mother’s Day is the yearly reminder that you are as far from “Super
Mom” as can be, I’ll share a few more excerpts from my blog: Yesterday I took
Campbell and Cadence with me to visit a friend from church. As we
talked, I noticed a strange calm and my spider senses were tingling like
crazy. I stood up and ran around the whole house looking for
Campbell. I ran outside and couldn't find her. I told Cadence to
open every door in the house and yell campbell's name as loud as she
could. Then the three adults ran around the neighborhood looking. I
was panicking. Bad guys, cars, ditches, pools, mean dogs, my mind was
racing. Saeng found her 4 houses down in the back yard on a little
swingset back there! Ah! My heart was about to explode.
she was so angry when I
took her away from the swingset that she screamed the whole way and as I
buckled her into her carseat she scratched my arm up pretty bad. And I
lectured her over and over again about why that was not acceptable. After
a couple go-rounds of the what-fer, she said in an emotionally heavy, quieted
(so unusual) tone, "But Mom, don't you love me?" and I got
right in her face and told her that I loved her and that was why I was so
worried about her. Her reply was in a much more assertive tone: "But
I DON"T LIKE YOU." Oh, thank you for clearing that up.
Here's another one, in case you feel the pressure to look good
while totally winning at life (it’s important to know that I was also pregnant
in my 1st trimester so I was extra low on energy and regular clothes
weren’t looking great on me):
-Last week was a really really exhausting one
for everybody. We spent Mon-Wed moving moving moving. Nothing but moving. Then we spent three days in the car. You know
what road trips are like, right? I wear comfortable clothes, my hair gets all
crazy looking, and I really don't care.
So on our final day on the road, we stopped at an Arby's off of the freeway near OK City. It was hot and humid, we were tired and anxious to just get to our final destination. After lunch we all hit the bathrooms and I found that there was no changing table in sight. A mother's option at that point is the ground. I have had to pull this move many times. I always feel weird about it because it's not very private, I don't know how many gross-o's have spit on the grass or worse, etc. Anyway, I found a spot of grass shaded by the Arby's sign and I dropped my backpack to the ground and got to work. Right after I exposed Campbell completely, I noticed that the guy stopped at the light just next to us was staring. "Come on, Perv, she's just a baby!" I thought to myself. I became even more annoyed by Pervert McGee when the light changed and somebody behind him had to honk to get his attention. Anyway, I wrapped things up and as I stood and gathered my things, I noticed Pervert McGee pulled up in his truck next to me in the parking lot. I was alarmed. He rolled down his window and asked so sincerely, " Do you need money?"
I think he was pretty embarrassed when I explained that we were just passing through town on a long road trip and that I was just fine. And then it hit me. I looked homeless. And I really really did. A sad, homeless redheaded mother, just trying to find a place to stop and take care of my baby.
So on our final day on the road, we stopped at an Arby's off of the freeway near OK City. It was hot and humid, we were tired and anxious to just get to our final destination. After lunch we all hit the bathrooms and I found that there was no changing table in sight. A mother's option at that point is the ground. I have had to pull this move many times. I always feel weird about it because it's not very private, I don't know how many gross-o's have spit on the grass or worse, etc. Anyway, I found a spot of grass shaded by the Arby's sign and I dropped my backpack to the ground and got to work. Right after I exposed Campbell completely, I noticed that the guy stopped at the light just next to us was staring. "Come on, Perv, she's just a baby!" I thought to myself. I became even more annoyed by Pervert McGee when the light changed and somebody behind him had to honk to get his attention. Anyway, I wrapped things up and as I stood and gathered my things, I noticed Pervert McGee pulled up in his truck next to me in the parking lot. I was alarmed. He rolled down his window and asked so sincerely, " Do you need money?"
I think he was pretty embarrassed when I explained that we were just passing through town on a long road trip and that I was just fine. And then it hit me. I looked homeless. And I really really did. A sad, homeless redheaded mother, just trying to find a place to stop and take care of my baby.
I’m going to switch gears because I
want to talk about my favorite thing about imperfection: Imperfection is our
invitation to access The Atonement of Jesus Christ. We are taught that the Atonement of Jesus
Christ is to cover sin, suffering, weakness, you name it. So when I hear the line, “There is a crack in
everything, that’s how the light gets in”, I hear, “ that’s how Christ shines
his light on us t make us whole.” This
also means that when I get all wound up thinking about how what I just said to
my daughter is probably going to give her issues and she’s not going to have a
healthy response to stressors in life because of how I just spoke to her about
the way she stepped right on top of her own things like they were the paving stones
intead of picking them up and putting them away--- I can calm myself down because what I’m
really saying is that I’m giving her a reason to need to turn to the Lord and
ask for help and healing. Then I
high-five myself for that and think of better ways to address the issue of the
things on the floor.
Elder Orson F.
Whitney wrote: “No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted.
It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as
patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. … It is through sorrow and suffering,
toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire.”1
So,
yeah, I might not be a perfect parent. I think none of us can avoid giving our kids
issues somewhere along the line. But the
“Grace of God is sufficient” to make that a strength unto them.
That is the perfection of
imperfection. That all our flaws, our
mistakes, our sins, they can be used to bring us to Christ. All the pain that we cause ourselves and others
because of weakness of the flesh—there is a crack in everything, that’s how the
Light of Christ gets in.
I hope that you can look at your own
flaws and struggles today with loving eyes.
I hope that you can see you the way your Heavenly Parents do today, a
perfectly loveable child who needs her Savior whether her kids have matching
socks and are on time to practice, or not.
Happy Mothers Day! Amen
Sunday, May 7, 2017
PARIS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, Layla
We drank Hot chocolate At the chocolate factory.
☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕
YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUmmMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Campbell chicken noodle soup
over spring break,I went to PARIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we went to the Eiffel tower the 1st day. the 2nd day we went to the opera house,an big bus tour the Aquarium and the river boat cruise. the 3rd day,we went to the palace of Versailles and the Louvre. the 4th day,we went to the Notre Dame . the 5th day,we went to the sacre~core. on the 6th day,we went to Disney land. my favorite thing was going to Disney land. there was ride that made Calvin laugh sssssssssssssoooooooooo hard! it was called "Slinky dog" At the Eiffel tower i saw a gift shop that i wanted to buy something but i did not get to. the opera house had a nice inside the big bus tour was a good tour and i got to see the arc de triomph and the aquarium was nice and we got to see sharks. the palace of Versailles,had alot of pictures. after we went in the notre dame,we went behind it and there was a awesome playground! at the sacre~core it was ssssssssssoooooooooooooo tiring! i had to climb: 605 steps!and the louvre is full of pictures. Campbell chicken noodle soup
Paris trip-C@dence
Last spring break our family went to Paris, France. I loved it Mammaw came too. There were many great things there, like the Eiffel tower, aquarium, and Sacre cour.
WHERE WE STAYED:
We stayed in a rental apartment with a glass door and big windows up front. Once you walk in to your right there is a couch and a TV table without a TV and a desk. If you keep walking forward, to your right will be a tiny little kitchen. If you back up a little bit there will be a table to your left. If you keep walking forward about 5 feet, there will be a spiral stair case in front of you that does not have any railing and the ground is as hard as cement. Halfway up the stair case there is a landing with 2 beds and curtains around the beds. All the way up the stairs to your there is a wall and to your right there is a bathroom with bath-shower without a curtain in it and the walls are covered in gold foil and blue Christmas lights. If you keep walking forward there is a wall on your right a bedroom in front of you and a bedroom to your left that my parents and the boys slept in, on the landings, Mammaw, me, Campbell, and Layla all slept. If you walked out the front door, you would be on a thin sidewalk next to a really busy road. Next to our place was a liquor store and across the street from us there was a hotel and next to the hotel was a bakery and all the time we would just go there to get food and 1 time I even asked if they had any cupcakes, which they didn't.
MY FAVORITE PLACE:
I don't really have a favorite place there, because they were all awesome we went to the Eiffel tower, on a river cruise, to sacrecour, the aquarium, the palace of Versailles, the Louvre, arc de triumph, the opera house, and the Notre Dame, but one of my favorites was going to Disneyland Paris. Some of my favorite rides were, haunted mansion, thunder mountain, ratatouille, and the RC racer.
HOW DID WE GET AROUND?
In France, there are things like subways, but they are called metros, you have 30 seconds to get on and off and then it will take you where you need to go on the subway, that is, if you are on the right one. Navigating the subways was my favorite. We also walked a lot and used a couple trains.
WHAT WAS PARIS LIKE?
The streets in Paris were usually pretty dirty, but they had some people to clean it up. There were a lot of poor families just sitting out in the cold asking for money or food. there were also a lot of restaurants, and stores ad people. The people in Paris were really nice. On our way from the airport to the apartment (which we called the meat locker because it was once a meatery) we had to go up and down a bunch of stairs with 2 big suitcases, 1 big bag, and a stroller, and a lot of people just stepped in and helped us with the stairs, gave us our stuff back and then just walked away like it was nothing, we also got a lot of compliments on our family. Ezra even made a friend at the playground behind Notre Dame named Milo.
WHERE WE STAYED:
We stayed in a rental apartment with a glass door and big windows up front. Once you walk in to your right there is a couch and a TV table without a TV and a desk. If you keep walking forward, to your right will be a tiny little kitchen. If you back up a little bit there will be a table to your left. If you keep walking forward about 5 feet, there will be a spiral stair case in front of you that does not have any railing and the ground is as hard as cement. Halfway up the stair case there is a landing with 2 beds and curtains around the beds. All the way up the stairs to your there is a wall and to your right there is a bathroom with bath-shower without a curtain in it and the walls are covered in gold foil and blue Christmas lights. If you keep walking forward there is a wall on your right a bedroom in front of you and a bedroom to your left that my parents and the boys slept in, on the landings, Mammaw, me, Campbell, and Layla all slept. If you walked out the front door, you would be on a thin sidewalk next to a really busy road. Next to our place was a liquor store and across the street from us there was a hotel and next to the hotel was a bakery and all the time we would just go there to get food and 1 time I even asked if they had any cupcakes, which they didn't.
MY FAVORITE PLACE:
I don't really have a favorite place there, because they were all awesome we went to the Eiffel tower, on a river cruise, to sacrecour, the aquarium, the palace of Versailles, the Louvre, arc de triumph, the opera house, and the Notre Dame, but one of my favorites was going to Disneyland Paris. Some of my favorite rides were, haunted mansion, thunder mountain, ratatouille, and the RC racer.
HOW DID WE GET AROUND?
In France, there are things like subways, but they are called metros, you have 30 seconds to get on and off and then it will take you where you need to go on the subway, that is, if you are on the right one. Navigating the subways was my favorite. We also walked a lot and used a couple trains.
WHAT WAS PARIS LIKE?
The streets in Paris were usually pretty dirty, but they had some people to clean it up. There were a lot of poor families just sitting out in the cold asking for money or food. there were also a lot of restaurants, and stores ad people. The people in Paris were really nice. On our way from the airport to the apartment (which we called the meat locker because it was once a meatery) we had to go up and down a bunch of stairs with 2 big suitcases, 1 big bag, and a stroller, and a lot of people just stepped in and helped us with the stairs, gave us our stuff back and then just walked away like it was nothing, we also got a lot of compliments on our family. Ezra even made a friend at the playground behind Notre Dame named Milo.
Cadence's week of April 31st- may 6
DEMOLITION DERBY:
This week our family went to the demolition derby. The demolition derby is when old cars are fixed up and basically edited so that they are made for crashing into things, and then people drive the cars around and try to demolish or ruin each other, though they are really loud and don't smell great I still love it. The derby ended really late, about 10:45, so my parents and siblings went home early and I got to stay for the rest of it and the Flemings took me home after, we were there with the Flemings and the Thompsons. So at the finals, there were 6 cars going against each other, numbers, 13,418,14,11, and I think the other ones were 31 and 48.
SOCCER:
On Saturday, my team won 4 to 0. On Thursday the other team, United, won 2-1, but only because I was the goalie and I got the ball about an inch away from the lie but the ref counted it as a goal, and my friend/teammate Katie kicked the ball into the goal and the goalie got it but after is had past the line. So our team should have one if the ref was actually watching!
BIG DECISION:
This week I had the chance to try out all the instruments in band and orchestra. The people running the stands for their instrument would rate you on weather Y, yes you should definitely play this instrument, M for maybe, and N for no you should try something else. I tried out the Flute, precussion set, which is like the cowbell, drums, xylophone, etc., saxophone, trumpet, clarinet, cello, bass, viola and the violin, and I got a Y in all of them except for trumpet, I got an M. I decided that I don't want to be in choir, or general music a long time ago but now it was either band or orchestra, and as soon as I sat down and started playing the cello, I decided, I'm going to be in orchestra and play the cello, so now I signed up for cello and I'm in the orchestra.
This week our family went to the demolition derby. The demolition derby is when old cars are fixed up and basically edited so that they are made for crashing into things, and then people drive the cars around and try to demolish or ruin each other, though they are really loud and don't smell great I still love it. The derby ended really late, about 10:45, so my parents and siblings went home early and I got to stay for the rest of it and the Flemings took me home after, we were there with the Flemings and the Thompsons. So at the finals, there were 6 cars going against each other, numbers, 13,418,14,11, and I think the other ones were 31 and 48.
SOCCER:
On Saturday, my team won 4 to 0. On Thursday the other team, United, won 2-1, but only because I was the goalie and I got the ball about an inch away from the lie but the ref counted it as a goal, and my friend/teammate Katie kicked the ball into the goal and the goalie got it but after is had past the line. So our team should have one if the ref was actually watching!
BIG DECISION:
This week I had the chance to try out all the instruments in band and orchestra. The people running the stands for their instrument would rate you on weather Y, yes you should definitely play this instrument, M for maybe, and N for no you should try something else. I tried out the Flute, precussion set, which is like the cowbell, drums, xylophone, etc., saxophone, trumpet, clarinet, cello, bass, viola and the violin, and I got a Y in all of them except for trumpet, I got an M. I decided that I don't want to be in choir, or general music a long time ago but now it was either band or orchestra, and as soon as I sat down and started playing the cello, I decided, I'm going to be in orchestra and play the cello, so now I signed up for cello and I'm in the orchestra.
Monday, April 17, 2017
Orton Newsletter Submission April 2017
Dear Amazing Orton Family,
First of all, thank you, Karli, for organizing and encouraging the newsletter!
The Clives are happy and well, we are grateful to report! We have now been in Arkansas for 7 years, which is longer than we ever expected to be anywhere, really. We love it so much that it would take some serious act of providence to get us to leave now :) . I know that it may sound like we live in a shack in the hills and make moonshine-- we don't :) . We love the beauty of the Ozarks, the family friendly community, and the world class mountain biking trails. So, if you are wondering which random state to visit next, might I suggest Arkansas? PLEAEAEAEAEASE?
Our oldest, Cadence, is now 10 and is currently managing a business which she runs with her little sister Campbell called "Cadence and Campbell's Do-It-All Co." And they offer services such as weeding, sweeping and mopping, or creating a custom portrait. She also co-leads the drama club at school and serves on the student government. In her free time she likes to plan various performances (dance, singing, or making a movie) with the neighborhood kids. She's a formidable goalie in soccer and can also defend her own position in any argument just as aggressively :). Needless to say she's been running circles around me for years and I'm at a complete loss how to raise a Type A girl like this. The good news is she seems comfortable doing the raising herself.
Campbell is now 8 and was baptized last September. She has a head of wild and crazy curls and a laugh that saves the day. She loves non-fiction and anything science. She has the best imagination and is both witty and sensitive. She is always so willing to help that sometimes i have to ask her to STOP helping. She is exceptional at keeping younger ones happy and busy and often gets assigned the role of playing with the little brothers while I get things done. Campbell's soccer team is coached by this really handsome, amazing guy (who is also her father), and she is definitely enjoying that. She plays hard and bounces up after every fall. Somehow she always finds herself in the middle of whatever drama is going on at school or in the neighborhood and then her little feisty side tends to make an appearance. I'm at a complete loss as to what to do with a kid who is the most tender, sensitive, fiery, feisty thing all at the same time... but in the meantime, she brings a lot of fun and curiosity.
Layla is next and is 7. She recently decided (on her own) to make it a habit to listen and obey THE FIRST TIME. WHAT?! I guess I should start writing parenting books now because I'm obviously totally nailing it. Layla is really good at playing with anybody. She would be friends with a sea cucumber if she had the right equipment. No one is beyond her reach of friendliness and fun. Just don't make her mad. And if you see that vein in her neck pop out-- RUN. Here's a true story: Layla and I made a deal that if she could go 2 whole weeks without hurting anybody out of anger, she would get her very own pet fish. She still has no fish. That was over 18 months ago. She's got a talent for making everything fun and for making anyone around her happier. And I just am not sure how to parent a little firecracker that goes from sticky-sweet to flames-out-your-ears mad in under 3 seconds. However, she assures me that the trick is to just making sure she gets what she wants, so maybe I'll try that.
Phase 2: The Boys.
Ezra is 3 and... hmmm... how... to even... Let's say that he relates to the villain in almost every story. He is the most enthusiastic kid I've ever known. If you ask him if he'd like to pick up that piece of trash and bring it to you, he'll respond emphatically: "SURE! I'D LOVE TO!". But if you ask him to put long sleeves on because it's a cold day out, he'll respond, "I! HATE! LONG! SLEEVES!" So, you never really know what you are going to get with him but you know it's going to be 100%. We are working hard on the concept that the world is not his toilet. He's not convinced. The other day I thought I was cheating the system and actually accomplishing some yard work without paying a babysitter for the privilege of such an indulgence. When I came inside i saw dark paint splattered all over the wood floor, the walls of the entry way, dining room, and doors to the office. When I questioned Ezra he excitedly told me that he had made a masterpiece and wasn't it cool? We have yet to find a way to remove it without removing the paint that is supposed to be there. Ezra has more feelings and opinions in his little finger than a whole room of 8 year old boys. Do I even need to say how lost I am with this one?
Calvin is the baby and is 2 years old. He is happy and busy and constantly trying to kill himself. He is taking his time developmentally, probably as a way to preserve me while I mourn the end of that phase of life that is dominated by nursing and diapering and constant milestones. As some of you know, he said his first word last summer (a couple months short of 2 yrs), which was "ball". His second word was "Alexa" (our Amazon Echo) which came a full month before "Mama". He still hasn't said "Dada". He walks and talks more like a 1 year old but he climbs like an 18 year old. He is in a state of constant motion during his waking hours and has a real skill of finding the most dangerous things in any room. Thanks to him we are learning about the world of therapies and special needs and are really not sure how far down this path he's going to take us. He's robust and happy though, so we're not too worried. Whatever path this is, we're just really grateful he's ours. Good thing we've had 4 other kids to practice on-- we finally know that we'll never know what we're doing so we'll just pray like crazy and enjoy the ride :)
Spencer and I are holding on for dear life. We love mountain biking in our spare time (lol) and can't agree on how to manage the sock stock for 7 people in one house. We feel so grateful for all the beauty in this world and for the joys that accompany the hardships of parenthood and family life. We pray for each one of you and are so grateful for your examples of strength, wisdom, goodness, and love. We love you!
-Mardee.
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