Summer in Paradise....

Well, it depends on your definition of paradise, but if you think warm days with cool nights (NEVER happens around here!), a house full of aunts, uncles, grandparents, great grandma, and of course every Orton cousin there is to date (Marcel + Susan Ortons, I mean), a dog, a swing-set, a 7-seater teeter-totter, a tire-swing-esque rocketship,  a log-cabin play house (built by Grandma and Grandpa's bare hands!), a pink corvette and a batmobile (bought used and repaired by Grandpa just like any other car around our place), a plastic pool lent to us by the neighbor, family reunions, family mani/pedi's on Grandma's tile floor, family dance parties, family night at the Pirate-themed restaurant/arcade, cousin sleepovers (in the basement every night),family swim-parties, family birthday parties, and over 3900 miles of driving...........  is paradise, then that is just what our summer was:  PARADISE!  (or it would have been if only Mikalyn had been around :) )

Our trip went like this: NW Arkansas to Denver to Salem, Ut, stayed there for a couple of weeks, then Salem to Boise, Boise to La Grande, OR.  Back to Salem, up to Park City/Salt Lake to see old friends, Back to Salem, down to St. George, then Albuquerque and finally back to NW Arkansas.   Wow.  The kids got a little tired of being in the car all that time, but it was worth it and they knew it!

Below are only a very FEW (in comparison to the 460 + that I downloaded) pictures of our summer in paradise:

the very beginning!

Our wonderful friends Rex and Edda let us stay at their place in CO on our way-- how fun to get to see the little people their babies have become!

Inside the cabin Gramma and Grampa built

Grampa Orton loves cars.  Even pink ones.

In this picture you can get a glimpse of just how much fun was packed into Grama and Grampa's yard.  Isn't it amazing?

I love this picture of my Dad's barn (ok, it's a shed).  He built this with his own hands, painted it, decorated, and filled it with his personality (which is synonymous with his work ethic.)  By the way, as a Sr. in high school I helped frame this, and when Spencer and I were engaged we helped paint it.

They bought these cars used and got them working again.  This was endless excitement for the kids, and even some of the grownups.

Tyler, Mammaw with Layla, and John.  We got to go bowling with Spencer's fam while they were in town for a whirlwind weekend.  It was such a party!

Gramps got a kick out of the comparison of Campbell's head to the bowling ball whenever she lifted it to put it on the ramp.  He kept trying to get a picture of it.  It's okay, though, since she gets her head from him :)

Precioso!

Cam and Cadence show off their mani/pedis by Aunts Merica, Mignon, and Melanie

Merica orchestrated a lemonade stand and the kids were all over it.  They would dance and sing and yell from the second they saw a car off in the distance until it was completely out of view.  I think they made like $14 or thereabouts!

Reese with the sign, Zavian overseeing sales.

 

Are you dying?  I looove this picture!  Lauren, Cadence, Reese, Avery.  Cookin' up some fun, albeit at the cost of a peaceful afternoon, no doubt.  (a lot of big personalities in a little cabin!)



The kids were playing all together as one big family for once, so we decided we couldn't interrupt that for lunch.  Instead we wrote up a menu, seated them, took their orders, and let them continue making believe.  I think they liked it :)

First ever professional cut.  Spencer will argue that point, but he is, after all, not actually a professional!  anyway, when all is said and done, her bangs were more crooked than usual, so I guess she'll be frequenting Salon Spencerrre from now on.

Cadence, Campbell, Avery, Reese, Zavian in the pool, and Jackson and Ethan (Sister Glenn's grandsons).  This was probably as much for for them as the big aquatic center we went to later.

Grama is so young at heart (and not that old in body, really).  All 3 of my kids are still asking for her.

2 adorably larger-than-life personalities that really grew to love eachother.

On our way to Oregon for the Orton Family Reunion! Worn out from all the fun.

Melanie made it possible for my kids to survive and me to not go crazy.  She was always playing with some or all of the kids.  Thanks mel!

Sometimes if nobody is looking, Cam just starts taking stuff off.  She was a good 20 yards from anybody, just standing on a wooded path.  Alone, and finding she needed less clothing. 

My Uncle Wayne always brings his ponies for the kids to ride. Cadence felt an immediate bond with this one. 

She might not seem like a priss to you, but she is always accessorizing!

You already know I love it when they all wear these tutu swimsuits.

Hanging out together at the Reunion in Oregon.

We got to spend the 4th of July in Park City with the Bentons-- so lucky!  Adam's parents had just come home (like literally, the day before we got there) from serving as mission presidents in Argentina.  The whole family was there and we always feel right at home with them.   We love this family.  This picture is the group watching fireworks in the rain on the golf course in their backyard.

Another addition to my parents backyard.  Campbell is the only one so far to barf from spinning in it.  Let's see how that record changes in the years to come, eh?

We love this boy.  To know him is to love him. Zavian, Sigh.  He is the only grandSON and loved having all "the girls"  around.  He would just walk around and say "Girl, come ride in the car with me!"  Or "I want the girls to come play in the water now!"  "The Girls"  miss, you, Z! 

It was such a treat to see Spencer's Grandma Clark along with the Ludlows (Guy and Ruby pictured) and Spencer's mom while we were in St. George!  We had a fantastic birthday celebration for Cadence and Campbell.

Somehow surprisingly, I ALLOWED Spencer to hike Angel's Landing in Zion's with Brian, Sarah, and Sarah's friend.  I don't know why everybody thought I'd be mad about this.  Am I that much of a jerk :)   We are excited for when our kids are old enough to appreciate and hold their own for this type of activity.

Looking down at the Colorado River at the very beginning of the Grand Canyon.  Note how tightly Cadence is clenching her sisters' wrists.  She is very responsible and I'm afraid, has the same ability to imagine the absolute worst possible scenarios in every situation.

A fun little community swimming hole in New Mexico where we stayed on our way home.  Spencer is the most fun dad and always finds little adventures for our kids.  Gosh I'm grateful for him, since I'm sort of lame :)

Zavian and Reese let the sun warm them up.  Aren't they completely loveable?

wow!  What a great time we had.  Thank you thank you to all the wonderful people who made room and time for us, and for all the help we received in preparation for, during, and after this big adventure.  What fun.   It was so fun to see the people we got to see, although there were many more we would have loved to have seen and didn't get to. 

Stories about my girls

Above: a preview of our many many pics from Utah.  We are having a blast!!

For a second time in a row I (Spencer) am contributing to the family blog.  So, once again forgive the lack of charm that Mardee normally brings to the site.

I'm home alone for a couple weeks as I just left Mardee and the girls out in UT. Abby (our new dog) has been my loyal companion in the meantime. She's a great dog and is perfect for the kids (more on that later).  I have been amazed at how fast my memories fade so I thought I would try to capture some snapshots of my girls' personalities.

Mardee
I wasn't going to include Mardee here, but in mentioning our UT vacation it deserves mention what a fantastic job Mardee did preparing for the 2 day car ride out there. I got back from Scout camp the night before we left and was exhausted.  I was impressed with Mardee's efforts for the trip. She had a treasure box and a box full of treats portioned out in little ziplock bags, as well as carrots and other healthy food. She had printed up some fake money and a menu and as we got started on the trip, she explained to the girls that for every 30 minutes of good behavior they would get a dollar, and they could earn money by doing workbooks, reading, etc. They could then use those to buy treats, toys, movies, etc. Cadence caught on to the program right away, and would ask for carrots and other things so she could earn money faster. Campbell didn't really care about the dollars, but would do what she needed to in order to keep a steady flow of sugar flowing into her system. And Layla was mostly happy as long as there was something to look at or play with and others were happy (she really liked her cookie sheet and alphabet magnets that Mardee gave all the girls). I was really not looking forward to the overall week and half-viewed it as my "sacrificial vacation time" with half of the week going towards scout camp (where leaders walk around making sure kids are where they are supposed to be each day) and 2 days of what I imagined to be screaming kids in the car. In the end I had a great time in the car with the kids and am looking forward to the trip back in a couple weeks. Well done Mardee! (BTW - Scout camp was a good time too).

Cadence
Cadence is perhaps too smart for her own good at times as she has a hard time being a kid and not being in charge. She has a lot of ingenuity and uses it to get what she wants. It will make her very successful down the road, but will make her mother age at twice the normal rate until Cadence grows up.

Silver tights: Case in point: About a month ago Mardee was sick, so I took all three kids to church. I was totally outgunned. In getting Cadence ready, she really wanted to wear these silver tights with pink hearts on them that completely clashed with her dress. I insisted she wear white tights. After arguing about it for a couple minutes Cadence walked off and then came back saying she changed and wearing the white tights. Once we parked the car at Church and started unbuckling the little kids, Cadence jumped up from the back of the car and was laughing with the smug pride of having gotten what she wanted. She proudly showed me that she had stripped off her white tights and had the silver tights underneath! She thought I would think it was hilarious to be tricked like that (I did, but I couldn't show it). She then got in trouble for not being honest.

Fire: On Mother's Day Cadence earned her keep in the family. As usual, she wanted to be very involved in the preparations for the day's celebrations, and that included being a part of the meal preparation. I was cooking a pork loin and hobo Joe's in the fire pit in the backyard, and she was hovering around trying to do anything she could her way to help. I appreciated the company. At one point while the food was in the fire I had to go inside to work on something else for the meal and Cadence was in the backyard herself. About 4-5 minutes later Cadence ran to mom and said, "Mom! The fire is somewhere it should not be!" Mardee mentioned that to me and I bolted for the backyard to see three foot flames shooting out from under all sides of the firepit (the extra wood had caught on fire). It was huge! I sprinted to the hose and hooked it up and within 30 seconds had things under control. If Cadence hadn't brought that to our attention, the fire surely would have spread.

Campbell
Campbell's major achievement of late is potty training. She's not fully there yet as she has accidents frequently, but she gets there more often than not. Right before we started potty training her we had a hilarious experience as she had walked into the playroom, took off her diaper and pooped on it, walked downstairs and then came walking into the kitchen holding it in her hand and proudly declared "Luk edy-body, its a my poop!" as half of the log started to detatch and was about to fall. Mardee screamed and dove for it to catch it with her hands, only to pull away as she realized she really didn't want the poop in her hands.

As Campbell began pottytraining she was very good with #1, but was completely freaked out about #2 in the potty. She got stage fright every time she tried. She did go once (and left me a very cute phone message announcing her accomplishment), but then didn't go for a long time. One evening I walked into the bathroom to find her sitting on the toilet grinning. She was very excited to tell me "I go poo-poo in da potty!". Just as I was about to make a big deal about it and cheer (as this was a major accomplishment for her - her first time doing it on her own), I noticed her hair was wet, but only in the front three inches or so. The reaction she got from her announcement was a very odd blend of extreme praise and dismay rolled into one "That's VERY Good! but did you DUNK your HEAD in the TOILET! WE DON'T DO THAT! IT's BAD! but VERY GOOD with the poo-poo!" Apparently my bipolar reaction worked on both fronts as she is much better at #2 (although not perfect), and I haven't caught her giving herself a swirley since then.

Layla

Layla is a ball of goodness. She is very social, very happy, handles being pushed around or climbed on by her sisters very well, and shamelessly in love with dogs. She gets so excited around them and hugs them tight, pokes their eyes, and for some reason loves to stick her hand in their mouths. We adopted a 9 year old dachsund named "Mr. Peabody" who had not grown up around kids, had a skin infection which made him stink, and loved Mardee deeper than any creature ever has (and would whine, and howl when he couldn't be by her side). Other than those issues, Mr. Peabody was a great dog. Layla could not keep away though, and was too big to hug him without him feeling overwhelmed. He bit her twice, so we had to get rid of him. Now we have Abby, a 3 (almost 4) year old staffordshire bull terrier who is as even-tempered around kids and loving of them as any dog I've seen. Abby is much tougher than Mr. Peabody, so Layla will freqently lie on her in her bed, hugging Abby, or while watching TV. She is so genuinely happy with her.

Layla is also unconditionally happy in water. Baths and pools send her into delirium. She loves to whip her head back and dunk it in the water, so she can be a handful to hold while you are keeping an eye on all three girls and she keeps trying to break away and drown herself. BTW - Cadence has started doing "flips" into pools. She runs, jumps and tucks and rotates about 3/4 of the way and does a backflop (on her floatie jacket) every time.

In spite of her goodness, no Yin is without its Yang. Layla is a biter. It is really funny when she loses it because she will flip a switch and suddenly go from cheerful to scrunching up her nose, opening her mouth (which doesn't have as many teeth as most 18 month old mouths) and try to headbutt someone teeth first to take a chunk out of them. She is, thankfully, remarkably ineffective and has not managed to cause any real damager. That being said, some kid in nursery was able to land a good bite right on her cheek and she had a purple circle on her cheek for a week.
One last funny thing about Layla is that she hasn't quite grasped the No/Yes dichotomy yet. If you ask her if she wants something that she obviously wants, she will give you a very confident "No." while reaching for it. Mardee will then reply "Say 'Yes'", and Layla retorts "Yes." while still reaching for it. No joke, this has been going on for a solid 2 months now and I have not once heard Layla answer "Yes" when she means "Yes".

Joplin Tornado Disaster Recovery

This is a sabotage post by Spencer about the Joplin Tornado disaster that hit our region a couple weeks ago. I cut this post out of my journal... so forgive me for being lengthy and not having Mardee's wit that probably keeps you reading our family blog. The tornado hit on 5/22, and I was there the weekend of 5/28-29. Here is the post:

I spent two days this weekend (including Mardee's and my 7th Anniversary) in disaster recovery mode up in Joplin, MO (about an hour away) where the most deadly tornado on record struck last Sunday.

The night the tornado struck Joplin, we were at Cameron's birthday party at the Flemming's house. As we started to leave their house around 8PM the tornado sirens went off, and we ran back into their house, turned on the news, and started helping them unload their closet under the stairs in preparation to ride out the tornado. The warning subsided and we rushed home, put the girls to bed in our closet so they would be downstairs in a windowless room if anything happened, and kept watching the storm. I have never seen so much lightening in the sky as it constantly flickered with lights. The wind was roaring but it was from far away. From 11:30-12:30 we had to get our daughters up and sit on the uncomfortably small floor of our laundry room with sleeping girls sprawled all over us. It was exhausting for everyone, and scary when we could hear the hail pelting the side of our house with a lot of force. Not knowing what is going to come next or how severe it will be is a chilling feeling. In the quieter moments, looking around at my wife and three wonderful girls in that tight room was heartwarming as everything that mattered in the world seemed to be right there around me. As long as we were safe, the rest of the house seemed like peanuts. Seeing the devastation that happened in Joplin this weekend made me realize how good we had it. Tuesday was a big tornado scare as the conditions were apparently perfect for an even worse tornado according to the meteorologists. They let us out of work early and by the time I got home, Mardee had all our overnight bags packed up and was ready to follow the Flemmings down to Little Rock to dodge the tornados. In the end we drove all that way, stayed in a crummy hotel, and nothing happened by way of tornado.  It was a fun little midweek adventure anyway.

The stake asked for 200 men to spend Saturday and Sunday up in Joplin to help make damaged homes more liveable. There was an astonishing initial sign up of 256 men, and I think even more than that actually showed up on Saturday. The current count is that about 150 people were killed in the tornado, but being up there and seeing the scope of the devastation is seems like a miracle that only that many died. It was BAD.

Stores, houses, parks, trees, billboards, cars... EVERYTHING was destroyed in the main part of town. Fortunately there were also large areas of the town that were relatively unaffected, but where it was affected, there were roofless stacks of rubble, banged up and frequently upside down cars, and stripped trees (many of them sideways) as far as you could see. At our second house it was apparent that there will be repurcussions for years as the lawn was filled with broken glass from that house and others to the degree that we would never be able to make it safe to walk around barefoot again.  Time and a lot of grass growth is all that you can hope for.

Given the exent of the devastation there is only so much that a group of untrained, soft-handed desk jockeys can do. The Church was impressively organized, having rented out a warehouse and sent disaster relief coordinators and tons of supplies from Salt Lake City. They handed out work orders in the morning and we went out and conquered. Our sweet spot was the houses that were too damaged to live in, but could be liveable with a few fixes. We chainsawed fallen trees to pieces, patched up roofs with tarps, removed debris, and knocked down trees that were damaged from the storm and posed a threat of falling over as a result. It was hard and unglamourous work. The pervasiveness of the debris that was there was amazing.

Here is a picture of our team cutting down a damaged tree (Alan Shipman, Bishop Chandler, Jim Dragovich, Pat Smith, Dan Flemming, Jake Edgington, Allen Stewart, and Jaron Chandler).

Towards the end of our time at this house, the owner came out with wet eyes and mentioned how relieved he was that they finally found his 90+ year old mother. They knew she survived the tornado, but she disappeared shortly after and only found her 6 days later. It was a taste of the confusion and upheaval this tornado brought to these people at a personal level.

One great part of the experience was to see the community rally together in support. In addition to the trucks driving around handing out food and water (many of which were people driving around acting on their own initiative), we were approached by women of the 7th Day Adventist Church down the road and invited to come partake of a warm meal. The 10 of us happily went there in our highlighter yellow "Mormon Helping Hands" shirts and had a delicious vegetarian buffet of homemade dishes. These people were incredibly giving, and it seemed like an extra special gift as it was done on their Sabbath. After we left, they mentioned they were going to leave the door to the church unlocked in case anyone needed to use the bathrooms. Very trusting and good people.

One of the more angering aspects of the trip was hearing the stories about Looters. In two of the houses we went to, looters came after the tornado damaged the houses so severely and made off with their TV's, computers, and stereos.

One thought that really stuck with me on this trip was the talk by the local stake president, who quoted from Matthew where it says "If you have done it unto the least of these... you have done it unto me." We really were able to see some sweet spirits of people we would not normally run in the same circles with. One house was owned by an older (mid 50's) lesbian couple whose house had been ransacked by the storm. The entire house visibly slid on the foundation and there were cracks all around where the ceiling met the walls where you could see how the wind ripped the roof off from most of the house, but then was laid back down on the walls. Windows were all smashed and you could see perfect silouettes on the wall where some object between the wall and the window shielded the wall from the mud that was flying horizontally into the house. These women had a great sense of humor about their destroyed house and cars. As we were walking past their crumpled truck with all our tools she called out "careful not to scratch my truck!" It was impressive to see how much humor they brought to the situation. Only a couple minutes later one of them had a swing the other way and was sobbing on the porch about how much they had lost or someone they had lost, or who knows what.  Humor has an interesting way of helping people rise above their situation for the moment.

The last house we went to was another one of the "least of these" experiences. It was an older man's house who was outside when the storm came and started ripping up trees. He made it inside and dragged the kids into the hallway, threw a mattress on top of them and lied on top of it until the storm passed. It knocked down several trees... one of which fell on his house. As we were cleaning up the debris, I cleaned up a ton of empty beer cans that had been in a bag in his back yard before being strewn everywhere. I had sympathy for what this family had been through but the cues all around led to me categorizing him as "white trash" in my mind. As we were about to leave, he came out to his porch and called us all around and asked if we could pray together before leaving. He offered one of the most sincere and humble prayers I have ever heard. First thanking the Lord that they were all okay, then asking that such devastating calamities not fall on them again, and then saying that if they ever have to go through such a trial again, that they will be blessed with understanding and not be mad at the Lord. I had so much to learn from people who fall into the social categories that are the butts of many jokes. Serving "the least" of my brethren /and sisters was truly a humbling experience.

The second to last house we worked on was the most devastated of the houses. There was a doublewide mobile home in the backyard, a very tall workshop, and 3 SUVs/trucks and a large camping trailer. The doublewide mobile home rolled over the cars... smashing one completely, and the roof and walls blew to pieces while the floor of the home blew way up on top of the roof of the work shop. In the picture below, the green floor on the roof was originally just to the right of this picture before it barrel rolled over the cars (losing the roof and walls) and ended up on the roof of their workshop.  The camper trailer also rolled over and sustained a lot of damage. The roof to the main house was severely damaged in many areas, and completely gone in about a fifth of the area up top. It was quite a sight.

The woman in this house asked me if I wanted to hear a miraculous story, and I said sure. She said some people were driving down the road when the tornado came. They saw the black cloud and left their cars running in the road and tried to run for shelter. They said they saw people waving them over to the side of the house and ran to the side and started banging on the door. About 15 feet from the back door was the tornado shelter in the ground, under a sliding steel door. The people from the house were in there and said they could hear people pounding on their steel door. They slid it open and saw the people at the back door of the house and yelled for them to come over and brought them into their tornado shelter. The people from the cars thanked them for waving them over from the road, and they said they had been in the shelter the whole time. When the family that had been in the shelter mentioned that they were glad the others banged on the shelter door so they could hear them, they mentioned they had been at the door the whole time. She attributes the people waving those coming from the road over to their house, and the banging on their tornado shelter door to angels. That just might be so.

Probably the craziest story I heard was from a woman we gave supplies to on our way back to the tent city on the first day. She said that there were 10 in their family in the area and was grateful they all were okay. Her middle-aged daughter jumped in the car when they heard about the tornado watch and ran to grab something before the storm came. 7 minutes after the watch was issued, the tornado came and started to lift her car. She floored it and zipped around a bank drive through, where she rode out the storm for about 2 minutes while the tornado passed through. Once it passed, the neighborhood was a different place. She went to a house that was reduced to rubble and found a pregnant woman. She pulled her from the rubble and found she was dead. She then looked down the road and saw a man lying face down in a pool of water. She ran and flipped him over. He had been unconcious in the water and was drowning. She saved him. She then heard screams and ran to another house were 5 kids were trapped under a refrigerator. She moved the fridge and got them free. It is amazing how suddenly everything turned into a nightmare, and the heroism that every day citizens displayed when faced with that.

Another inspirational character was Ryan (from Littleton, CO). He is a 20 year old LDS boy who jumped in his car and started driving over after he found out that there were people from the church organizing a help effort. He drove by himself through the night and got there with nothing planned out. I met him by the showers and he asked how he could get on a team. I told him to join ours. That boy could work too. At the end of Sunday when our team was leaving he went to the coordinators from SLC and started asking if there was any other thing he could do to help and if he could keep his little tent on the property after everyone else left so he could be there and find more ways to help. I thought missing my anniversary was a sacrifice, but it was nothing to this guy.

Here are some other pictures that show the devastation to the city.

That tall building is the hospital.  The windows were all broken and several patients and medical equipment were thrown around through the halls of the building.

This is just one of many houses in a neighborhood that was severly desimated by the storm.  This is an average house in this area.

too many things to say!

So I'll say it in bullet points:

• We didn't really want to spend another night in the laundry room (and I didn't really think our laundry room would be still standing) last week when the warnings came for more crazy tornadoes, so we hit the road and ran to Little Rock, where we stayed in a crappy hotel with soft beds, and had a good time!

Somewhere between here and Little Rock.  This is not a lake.  Can you see how it is actually a frontage road and a field?

• Cadence graduated preschool on Friday.  Can you believe she is going off to Kindergarten in the fall?  She was a head shorter than the kids standing next to her, and definitely the shortest kid of all.  Just like any performance, she looked in any direction but where the crowd was.  She sort of sang and mostly just kept her head turned toward her friend, Kami.  It was still really sweet!  So proud of her.  She is smart as a whip and loves to learn.
• Her teacher, Miss Becca, told each child's answer to the question "what do you want to do when you grow up?"  Cadence's: "Wear make up" and "Not be a mom--they work too much".
• Friday night Spencer and I went on a date to celebrate our 7th anniversary!  Normally I turn away from and denounce unnecessarily scantilly clad women, or swearing, or men grunting.  But if those things are in the context of fast cars with Vin Diesel, then I welcome them!!  I have to say that Fast 5 was AWESOME!   And Spencer agrees.  There.  We shouldn't be admitting this.  But it was a very fun date :)
• The next morning was our anniversary, and I awoke to a romantic kiss good-bye at 4:50 in the morning, as Spencer ran out the door to answer the call, along with nearly 300 other men in our stake, to help the people of Joplin, Mo. (F5 tornado, less than an hour away) (He assures me his blog post on this experience is coming soon.)  I don't need to even describe this picture below, right?
• Since women were specifically told not to come, I was glad that my contribution could be to support my husband in his service and hold down the fort here with the kids, while also preparing to sub for a couple of the Sunday School teachers.  We went to the Farmer's Market and the Bville Splash Park (with Alyssa's help, thank you!) and enjoyed seeing several other friends who's men were away in Joplin wearing the yellow "Mormon Helping Hands" tee's.
• After the Splash Park, I loaded the kids in the car and we drove to Oklahoma to get a new dog.  Yup, we did!  If you hadn't heard, Mr. Peabody had to move along.  We loved him, really.  But he bit Layla, a pretty good one.  And Layla didn't learn her lesson, and we knew it was going to keep happening.  So we found a new home for him.  He's so happy! It's the perfect place for him.  And then we met and fell in love with Abby.  She's great.  I'll post more on her later. 
• The rest of the day was a little crazy and I had to call in reinforcements in the evening (Thank you, Erin!).  Never bring a new dog home and a potty training two year old when you are all out of paper towels.
• I spent that night preparing a Sunday School lesson for a combined class of 15-year-olds. I was pleased with how I imagined my scripture-dense discussion entitled "Wo Unto You..Hypocrites" was going to enlighten and broaden these teenager's understanding of Christ and our responsibility to be pure in heart.  I went to bed late, but slept well, not fearing intruders, since I now have a dog.
• Church was a mad-house.  Well, it always is, for us.  But with many of the dads being gone, it was a little louder than usual.  I sat behind Tara, who somehow could handle having Cadence, and enlisted a beloved babysitter to come sit with us to help.
• Sunday school started and I handed Layla off to the nursery (finally!!!) to go for the first time by herself, and off I went to teach.  Then some confusion ensued regarding who's class needed substituting, and I ended up in a classroom with 3 nine-year-old boys!  My lesson was NOT geared for them.  But we did it.  Somehow.  And I enjoyed it, somehow :)
• After church we rushed home to get ready for dinner with the missionaries, and Spencer got home 30 minutes before them, with pictures and stories to share.  I was really glad he got back in time!
• The next morning was Memorial Day.  We were really lucky to have that day to spend together, since the rest of the weekend we hardly saw eachother.   We decided last minute that it was the perfect day to blow up the kiddie pool and pull out the baby grill and invite a few families over.  The house was a mess, no groceries had been bought, and we didn't know who was going to be around and who wasn't, but we went for it!  It turned out perfectly, and we hope to have several more days like that day ahead.  We wished we could have invited more friends, but on such late notice, we really didn't have a chance or the means. Note spencer's grillin' set up below.  That night he mentioned to me that it might be time to upgrade to a larger grill. Much discussion is had among some young girls around here regarding who this young man will marry.  I try to remind Cadence that no decision has to be made just yet, but it is still right at the top of her mind.

Above, Cadence jumps from the swing into the pool-- what a feat!

• Later that day we went to see Kung Fu Panda 2, which was funny (although I thought it had a lot of implied violence).
• Oh my, I'm exhausted just thinking about it.....   aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh what a weekend!

But tell me how you really feel?

When Layla gets frustrated in anyway, she immediately attacks with her mouth.  Her mouth leads her whole body in a brisk search for something to bite.  It's hilarious.  Well, only when it doesn't land on somebody and bite them.  Except sometimes I still laugh when it lands on her own arm or shoe or something.

The other day Cadence and I had this conversation (some of you saw this on facebook already):

Cadence: Mom, can I take this rock (found in parking lot which we were walking through) home?

Mom: Sure.

Cadence: You're the best, Mom!

Mom: Oh, thanks!

Cadence: and the prettiest! (nuzzles her cheek up to my hand as we walk)

Mom: Thank you!

Cadence: And that really means something, because most days I don't even like you!

Mom:  (ahem!) thanks?

And tonight, as we left a friend's house, and she was not happy about leaving, she said this to me:

"Mom, I almost just told you that you are THE MEANEST MOM OF ALL."

Me: "Oh..." Not sure how to respond to that, actually...

Cadence: "And then I was also about to say to you that I HATE YOU, but I didn't."

I was laughing to myself because I have a conversation like this with Spencer all the time:

Me: *innocently comments on something harmless to my husband*

Spencer: *opens his mouth to speak and then doesn't*

Me: *looks inquisitively at him*

Spencer: "Oh, man.  I was about to say something that would make you so mad!  But I didn't.   Good job, me.  Okay, wanna know?  Oh, you do too!" *Says it anyway, gets punched in the arm*

Yesterday I took Campbell and Cadence with me to visit a friend from church.  As we talked, I noticed a strange calm and my spider senses were tingling like crazy.  I stood up and ran around the whole house looking for Campbell.  I ran outside and couldn't find her.  I told Cadence to open every door in the house and yell campbell's name as loud as she could.  Then the three adults ran around the neighborhood looking.  I was panicking.  Bad guys, cars, ditches, pools, mean dogs, my mind was racing.  Saeng found her 4 houses down in the back yard on a little swingset back there!  Ah!  My heart was about to explode.

she was so angry when I took her away from the swingset that she screamed the whole way and as I buckled her into her carseat she scratched my arm up pretty bad. and lectured her over and over again about why that was not acceptable.  After a couple go-rounds of the what-fer, she said in an emotionally heavy, quieted (so unusual) tone, "But Mom, don't you love me?"  and I got right in her face and told her that I loved her and that was why I was so worried about her.  Her reply was in a much more assertive tone: "But I DON"T LIKE YOU."  Oh, thank you for clearing that up.

Recently at dinner Cadence pointed to herself and then to me and said "We're the moms."  Uh, huh.  WE are, huh?  This makes a lot of sense out of our major power clashes then.  Then she said, "Campbell and Daddy are the Dads."  Oh, why is Cam a Dad and not a Mom?  "Because she's a BOY."  I asked Campbell if she was a boy or a girl.   Campbell answered quite confidently "BOY!"   Okay, well, at least for once they are getting along!

AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.     I feel like I'm surrounded by drama, emotion, shouts of accusations (It's YOUR fault that I'm yelling at you because you were talking mean to me!!!!  YOU DON"T LIKE ME because I chose this outfit!!!  etc.)   Any tips on simmering down the drama around here? 

At least they are getting plenty of practice expressing their feelings.  It's never too early for that :) 

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Per Melanie's comment:  I don't just think of when Dad would puff his chest up and smile maliciously at the accusation of being a mean parent, I actually FEEL that way!! For better or for worse, Dad's words come through me like they are mine, "I LOOOOOVE being mean!"  

and per Caitlin: I basically do tell Cadence that if I were always nice she would grow up to be a lame adult.  but I haven't been that specific.  Maybe I should! :)

Mother Nurture

I've had some thoughts on mothering lately.  As some of you know, I'm a mother.  You may also know that I am not always cheerful, my house is almost never clean, the laundry is certainly never finished, I feed my kids frozen pizza once a week, and my excuse for all this is not that I'm really talented at crafting or quilting or anything for that matter.  I just never get it all done.  Even my blog is not what I want it to be  (and it's my escape).

That's okay, right? My kids are what matters most.  But then, even in that regard, I feel like I'm a failure sometimes (muchtimes).  So, kids who's mothers are tooooo good grow up to be weaklings, right? :)

Okay, now that I got that off my chest, thoughts:

Last week some friends and I were at the park with our kids for our weekly playgroup.  A group of 4th graders (about 3 or 4 classes worth) came to the park for a picnic and some recess while they were having a field trip.  This, of course, resulted in a hundred 10-year-olds running like wild animals around the playground where all our preschoolers are used to being in charge.  The fun thing was that a couple of the girls in our ward were there.  These girls are babysitters in training, and take it seriously.  They LOVE babies and single out the little ones at every church function (including church).   These girls are so sweet and nurturing--and I noticed that day--a little more mature than their cohorts. 

As Sydney and Kirsten took over the care and watch of my kids and ran around introducing them to their friends, I got the chance to sit back and observe a little.  And for the next hour or so, this is what I saw:

Remember the little Woolly Willy (was that it?) thing? little magnet shavings and a magnet stylus.  As you drag the stylus around, you see the shavings clump around it, follow it around, until it gets too crowded, then some drop off, others join.  Okay-- 4th grade girls + babies.  No exaggeration.

I noticed that many of the boys noticed the little ones just enough to leap a little higher or dodge them most of the time.  That was the extent.  One boy from our ward, Obadiah (who reminds me of a little Spencer), saw me and smiled as he ran like the wind around the swingset and off to some other place.  I thought it was sweet :)

And when it was time for the grade-schoolers to leave, the girls said their good-byes.  And then again.  And then ran back again for final hugs and chit chat with the little ones.  Their little seedling nurturers were so fulfilled, you could just see it.
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Okay, more thoughts.  I told Spencer that for Mother's Day weekend, I wanted to finally plant my garden.  It was a gorgeous weekend.  It was the weekend of the fathers/sons campout.  It was a rare weekend where no prior engagements were made.  PERFECT for gardening, I thought.  PERFECT for CAMPING, Spencer thought.  But he put those plans aside immediately when he realized how excited I was to garden (an understanding for which feelings he lacks entirely).  Instead, he played with the kids and ran errands with them all day while I did my entire garden!

(There it is, little baby garden.  I hope it turns into a grown up one.  I was given the advice to cover it with weed cloth since it gets 40 million weeds every time you turn around.  Do you think it's going to work?)
It was the moment after I had dumped 2 bags of compost/fertilizer and some peat moss over it and was half-way through turning all the soil and mixing it together that I had a grand feeling.  I was HOT. Parched.  My arms were starting to ache.  I was getting sunburnt.  I was worried about getting it all done in time.  And my heart was soaring.  I was feeling on top of the world. 

And my thoughts turned to my parents.  Have you seen their yard?  It is Eden, friends.  I ought to have wedding pictures back there, but somebody invited the rain.  Lame.

Anyway, their yard.  And guess who totally resodded that yard?  Laid the sprinkling system?  Put in rock walls? Laid the rock stairway? Framed the barn (okay, it's a shed)? Painted it?  Me! 

Well, actually, them.  But we all helped.  And we all spent years in their "school of hard workers".  Accomplishment.  Sweat, dirt, trial and error, improvement, WORK.   We worked together in the yard and garden most weekends, I think. I remember finding out about a joke that my friends had behind my back about my parents having kids as slaves because we had to work more than anybody else.

 And now that I'm a parent, I imagine that most of those times, the "help" we were providing wasn't as valuable as I thought it was, when you consider ill-followed instructions, whining, arguing, sibling fighting, and probably a lot of Disney songs sung out of tune.  Maybe my parents thought to themselves, as I'm already finding myself doing, thinking they would rather let us off the hook and do it on their own.  But they didn't.  Ever :)

And now I love and value work.  And I really enjoyed that moment to myself when all those memories came back to me, and I was filled with gratitude for all those fulfilling times when I could have been off sitting around with my friends trying to come up with something "to do".  Gosh, I hope as a mom I have the strength to do that for my kids.

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I mentioned that Spencer gave me all the gardening time I desired.  Here are some other ways he and the girls made Mother's Day Special:

-I woke up to sweet smells from the kitchen.  What was it?  Oreo-jelly bean-m&m waffles (whole wheat, of course!)  topped with marshmellow cream, peanut butter, caramel sauce, and whipped cream.  Oh, hello, Heaven.

-At church, the primary sang two songs, including one of my all time favorites (and a given for Mother's Day) "Mother I Love You" (you may  have heard my more saucy version? No? Oh, that's too bad.  I used to try to butter my mom up so she would let me stay out late or go to that concert, stuff like that.)  Anyway, she told me the week before that she was going to sing so loud that I would cry.  Happy tears, of course.  What she actually did was similar to her dance recital where she was stiff as a board.  She just stared right at Luke, the boy next to her, the entire time.  As in, you could see her profile only, and her nose was practically resting on Luke's cheek.  Luke tried to stay focused but felt a little awkward.  Points for your efforts, Luke.

Layla was theeee most excited member of the congregation for this musical number and showed it enthusiastically, by clapping continuously for about a minute straight while hootin' and hollerin' (screaming "whoooooo! yeah!!")  It was hilarious, and I didn't even try to quiet her down.  It was MY day, after all.

-At church, Spencer sang "Love At Home" a cappella with seven other men in the ward, all of whom have wonderful voices, including one of the guys from "Inside Out" (BYU A cappella).  It was absolutely beautiful and I was so proud of him for doing that for me.  He doesn't always get recognized as having the best singing voice, but his mom and I always love to hear him belting it out.  Layla hollered "daddy!" a lot, but apparently the novelty had worn as she didn't scream and cheer like before.

-At church the kids were perfect angels!  Campbell only tried to escape about 40 times.  Layla bit each sister.  There were goldfish everywhere.  Brother Williams, sitting closest to us on the bench, got kicked repeatedly.  Oh, and Layla chucked her shoe, which bounced off of Brother Smith's forehead and somehow landed three rows back in a teenage boy's hands!  The kids were so crazy, Spencer and I didn't even notice.  Reports trickled in after the meeting ended.

-After church, Spencer made dinner, completely on his own.  Well, with lots of help from Cadence.  They cooked it out in the fire pit. He made a rub from scratch and made some seriously good pork loin with "hobo Joes" (tinfoil veggies).  It was surprisingly smashingly good!

-We just got a new laptop which has a camera in it, so we videoskyped with our moms for the first time.  The kids got all weird and "skyper" (clever little word my mom invented to describe their behavior).  They were like, roaring like lions and getting all up in the laptop's grill, shreiking with excitement.   You know, the usual.  Campbell was like an alarm--every 60 seconds she would say "Happy Mother's Day!".

 Zavian was visiting my parents and so he told us all about the cars he likes--something about the red Corvette, Herbie, and a Mustang.  We got to see Aunt Mikee before she runs off to Alaska for the summer.  We "met" my foster sister Amber for the first time (looking so cute and pregnant!), and we mostly just shared our chaos. 

On the Clive line, we got to see John's adorable smile and tell him "Happy Mother's Day" a bunch of times, see Mamaw sporting the necklace Cadence made to her, and ask Gramps if he is still "at the airport (Campbell is still sure he's there waiting for us).  We screamed and roared a little less, which was nice.  Mamaw is so good at asking the right questions to the girls and getting them talking.  We loved getting to video chat!

-By the time we were done skyping, it was way past bedtime.  Layla had already gone down, and the big girls were just beside themselves with emotions they couldn't understand.  The both hung all over me and cried through the entire prayer.  They both needed me to carry them up to bed.  So I did.  It was my day, and I wanted to.  So there.  They were not happy with the arrangement, somehow.

Cadence has work ethic in her blood.  She looooves to work.  And she loooves to boss people around.  At least she's not a lazy tyrant.

What words can I use to caption this picture?  LOVE it.

Andrea recently facebooked about letting your children dress themselves and how wonderful it is.  Yep. 

-I don't think Spencer got a single thing done on his own to-do list this weekend.  He literally spent his entire weekend doing whatever I wanted to do, or serving me in some way.  I feel special.

How The Other Half Lived

(Warning: this post contains heavy utilization of italics.  heavy.)

Hey Gramps, last week Spencer went on a quick business trip and mentioned to the kids that they'd see him the next night when we get him at the airport.  The rest of the day Campbell begged to go to the airport so we could play with Daddy and Gramps.  Apparently, she thinks that we took you there and there you stayed.  But the point is, she misses you.

The kids had so much fun when Gramps was here.  They loved it!  And Gramps gained a whole new perspective into what it's like to be me.  And it wore him out, which is a little bit validating. 

When we returned from our fun in the sun, he told me several times that my life is too stressful because death is waiting at every turn for these kids: the front door is too easily opened by Campbell, and before you know it, both little ones are running in opposite directions down the street; the kitchen! (enough said); the ladder on the swing set is Layla's personal favorite spot to play preschool roullette, and the stairs, bathrooms, bookshelves...the toddlers are always in peril. 

Yep, he's right.  That's my life with two little ones who are both in that stage, always going in opposite directions (and it will be yours, Elisabeth, pretty soon!).  So he took Spencer to the hardware store and they found gates and other things to make my life easier.  He really wanted to make my day-to-day a little easier!

We loved receiving his email updates each day in Cozumel.  They were hilarious.  You want to see them?  Of course you do.  They capture the week pretty well:

MONDAY REPORT:

I had a ball with your beautiful kids yesterday.




Lowlight of the day was stopping for happy meals at McDonalds after dropping you guys at the airport. Unquestionably more food on the ground than in the kids stomachs. When it was time to go, I went to get Layla out of her high chair and as I was doing it I heard a commotion at the door – looked up and saw that Cadence had tackled Campbell to the ground (literally) because Campbell was trying to go out to the car before Layla and I got there. I have decided not to let the kids out of their room for the rest of the week.


Highlight of the afternoon was your playdough ice cream factory. Cadence essentialy informed everyone that there were not 10 commandments that God handed Moses – it was actually 11 with the first and most important being “Thou shalt not mix colors of play dough!” She had much cause to rent her clothes and gnash her teeth at the sinfulness of her two sisters.


Early-evening blockbuster highlight was MOVIE NIGHT featuring, as Campbell called it, “Rapunzel” (Tangled). Even Layla was deeply involved. So involved that she managed to either turn off the TV or stop the DVD at least 5 times during the movie as she would find one remote or another.

We decided that it would be an excellent night to camp out .. we chose to “camp on the tramp!” I shouldn’t have told the girls about having heard an owl all night during my Friday camp out with my scouts in the Mojave desert – Campbell asked me about owls, and witches and ghosts at least 6 times before we fell asleep. Highlights: Cadence playing Miley Cyrus as bed time music; seeing a satellite fly across the sky and I was able to teach Cadence how to tell satellites from shooting stars. Campbell woke up in the middle of the night crying for mom & dad (“OK, they’ll be here Friday”) but after reassuring her a ton of times she fell back asleep. When we woke up in the AM, there was frost on Spencer’s sleeping bag. Overall Cadence says she loved it and Campbell is now less enthusiastic about the experience. By the way, we handled Layla by putting my bedroom window open and having the intercom on loud by the window so we could hear it outside. Layla had a great night.


Now on to day 2!


Have a ball at the toy store in Missouri!  (Where Cadence said we were going on our trip).


CLIFF CLIVE


TUESDAY REPORT:


Tuesday was terrific.




Cadence and I decided that an outstanding way to invest our week would be to invent the greatest type of pancakes in the history of the world. After brainstorming a while we realized we had insufficient ingredients in our house to achieve such a lofty objective. Only solution: a trip to Walmart. Contrary to the warnings I had received in advance of attempting such a feat with three little girls, I found it very simple – just throw Campbell and Layla into the cart as if they were groceries. Only downside was accepting that several of our purchases would have bite marks on them as the kids attempted to gnaw through the wrappers.


So, yesterday we launched our invention quest with two recipes entirely from Cadence’s mind:


� Neon Gummy Glow Worm pancakes with whipped cream, cherry syrup and colored sprinkles on top.

� Same as above, but with Jelly Beans inside the pancakes.




Today the quest continued for breakfast which featured:


� Trail mix pancakes (almonds removed) with whipped cream, chocolate sauce and M&Ms on top (Cadence all the way)


� Hot dog & cheese (Queso Fresco) pancakes with maple syrup on top (my invention)


So far, here are the rankings:


       Cadence                       Campbell & Layla                  Gramps
#1   Neon glow worms         It’s all good                          Hot Dog Cheese


#2  Jelly Bean                       “                                          Neon Gummy Glow Worms (fantastic but a pain to cook as they melt like crazy. Using our new 4-color sugar sprinkle applicator you get a georgeous 4-color toping … another Cadence invention … see attached photo)


#3  Hot Dog Cheese            “                                           Jelly Bean (Pretty bad)


#4   Trail Mix                       “ though the M&M sprinkles were probably Layla’s highlight of the entire experience to-date   Trail Mix (Pretty bad – buts that’s the way it goes!)
                               


Low Lights of the day:


As with most male-female interactions, patterns in our interactions begin to emerge and that deja-vu experience begins cropping up frequently in interactions. This happens many times in my conversations with Campbell. Example: (she wanted to bring her pacifier on the drive to Cadence’s school, I asked her to put it back in her bed, she refused, I removed it from her mouth and threw it on her bed at which point she began whining severely)


Gramps: “I don’t want to hear it”
Campbell: “WELL I JUST WANT TO HEAR IT!!!!!”


Fresh new insight: Might it be that males and females are wired fundamentally differently? …that it may be that full understanding of each other is impossible, at least prior to the resurrection?

Last night before bath time Cadence came running up to me and pointed to a 1/2 centimeter long scratch on her toe:


Cadence: “I hurt my toe!”
Gramps: “Great”
Cadence: “No, I said I have a scratch on my toe!”
Gramps: “Great”
Cadence: “Why is it great that I have a scratch on my toe?!?”
Gramps: “Because this gives you the chance to become tougher!”
Cadence: “But it might hurt when I put my toe in the bath!”
Gramps: “You are thinking about this way too much, just focus on something else”
Cadence: realizes there is no point to continuing the conversation and gets ready to bathe.



WEDNESDAY REPORT:
You guys may be having an adventuresome time but AR is pretty happenin’ today! There was an earthquake this morning (4.5 on the richter scale – I felt nothing) and right now there is a tornado watch for Cook county!




Your three angels are doing great. Layla’s behavior towards me has really changed in that she is constantly coming up to me and hugging my knee – this didn’t happen during the first day or so. She and Cadence have slept thru every night whereas Campbell woke up both Monday night and last night. I was asleep in the guest room when at 2:30 I was awakened to a shouted “Where are you Gramps?”. I went into her room and she asked for a drink. After her drink she asked to change her PJ’s. I was thinking, wow, after 55 years of eternal progress, I have ended up as a room service boy on the night shift for a 2 year old!


Last night we had a movie night with Pizza – watched the Wizard of Oz. As I was putting the movie on I commented that this was one of the greatest movies ever made.


Cadence: “Yeah, but it’s not as good as “Barbie in the 12 Dancing Princesses”


Gramps: “Yeah, it’s not as good -- its way better!”


Cadence: “Just because it’s better for you doesn’t make it better for me.”


Gramps (thinking): “wow, so bright, so articulate, so beautiful, so quick … and so very wrong … much like Barak Obama”


The assault on my favorite kids movie of all time continued this AM. I asked Campbell what her favorite part of the Wizard of Oz” was, and she enthusiastically responded: “Rapunzel!!!”


This morning on our pancake safari, Cadence created blue pancakes (food coloring) with blue Peeps (Cadence cut them up) with blue frosting and whipped cream on top. She considered this creation one notch below her favorite (jelly bean pancakes). I would put them in third place behind neon glow worms and behind cheese/hot dog. See attached photos.

The play date at the Christiansens was a hit. Cadence decided she would rather play with the two girls across the street than go to see Gnomeo & Juliett yesterday so we canceled that babysitting appointment (one less favor owed).


Love you guys!



We love you, Gramps!!!  How many dads would do that for their kids?  Spend 5 full days and nights alone with 3 very energetic little kids?  We are so grateful for your willingness to do this for us, and that you did it so well and with so much love.  The kids miss you, and we wish we could have had more time to spend with you, too.  You are a wonderful, major factor in our family culture and we thank you for the diligence and dedication you put into raising your own family so that the characterisitics you value could be a part of our lives and (we're hoping) our children's lives.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!

-Mard.