Nothing Says "I Love You" Like...

...Spread sheets. Especially an entire presentation in charts and graphs; are you swooning yet?

In the spirit of being original (and frugal, which Spencer has no trouble with), I told Spencer that all I wanted for this Valentine's was a homemade card/heartfelt letter. I made Spencer a cheesy scrapbook-y thing with an even cheesier poem glued sideways on the back (it's hard to get things right when you are simultaneously trying to keep the kids from dumping out all the contents of every box of crackers in the house.)

Anyway, so my gift was cheesy. But heartfelt. And this is what that ol' hopeless romantic of a husband I've got made for me:

Yes, he handmade the envelope.

Inside the envelope:

Inside the analysis:

Oh, you want to see the graphs and charts close-up? Here are a few:

This next one is neither a joke about my weight nor his hair, lest some of us be confused (DAN):

I'm not sure what else to say about it, it's really a treasure. He was so pleased with his work that he took it to work the next day. I was so pleased with it that I've worn make up every day since then.

He may be a business geek, but he's MINE. And his love-language may be Excel, but I'll take it :) (besides, the charts and graphs make it easy to understand and visualize, am I right?)


Here are some other V-day pics from the Clive Res. :

A card that Cadence got from a friend. I've never seen a more appropriate card. Bedtime was by definition a "fiasco" that night. Sooooooooooooooooo hyper. Hyper. Remember when that used to be a buzz word? It was like the "random" of the 90s. Am I right?

I caught Layla taking advantage of my distraction with her hyper sisters. I carefully kept most chocolates and sweets out of her reach. But didn't bother with sharp objects. Oh, and then I took pictures instead of freaking out and grabbing them. I'm so good at my job.

Mamaw Clive sent a Valentine's box with some serious goodness, including a new dress and skirt for the girls. They were over-the-top excited.

I tried to get a picture of the girls in their romantic tu-tu's, but again, HY PER!, so I said after a few tries, trying to communicate to Cadence that it was unnecessary to put Layla in a headlock, "I give up, let's quit." "But MOM! Clive's don't EVER give up!!" Eh. Did you know i"m only half-clive? So I had to pretend to get a good one before I was "done".

I was quite pleased with myself for this little number:

lot's of paper and stickers and glue and Cadence being in "manager mode" (wherein she shouts orders and directions in a very confident and superior way. Her managerial style is one with high standards).

Spencer's Idea of A Good Time

Did you see us (NW Arkansans) on the news? We got a lot of snow on Wednesday. Record snow falls in some areas, like as in 24 inches somewhere in Bville. We didn't get 24 inches but we measured 11 1/2 a couple hours before it let up.

So what do Clives do when the snow dumps on us?

The same thing they do at the beach. They just jump in. (I, of course, played my Orton card on this one, and stayed out of the snow) (Ortons: that doesn't mean I think any of you would stay out, most of you probably wouldn't. It just means that sometimes I get to opt out of the mandatory Clive craziness).

In his defense, he mostly grew up in regions where snow was a thing of legends. As in, only in stories.



I woke up in the morning to a cold cold kiss as he dripped in the snow that he was covered in. He had just had Cadence be his camera-man, which didn't turn out quite right, so I encouraged him to go again and this time I got it.



Later on, Spencer and Cadence shovel the walks. I wait indoors with hot chocolate.

Cadence gets cozy in her new igloo.
Spencer decided he was too hot from shoveling the snow, and needed a good cool-down.

Last week we took all the kids sledding, including myself and Layla, which is unusual. For Layla and the snow, it was literally love at first sight. She was so happy.



Have I mentioned I prefer to stay indoors during winter weather? I try to distract myself from cleaning the house, since it goes like this: I clean the house, while 3 little professional mess-makers work even harder than I do. My shrine to romance:

Cadence and I like to make chocolate covered pretzels. Hers are awesome because they have so much chocolate and sprinkles. yum!

How to Quit Being a Jerk

Here's a little story for you:



When I was a senior in high school I worked in a little cubicle and as luck would have it, shared my small office space with the one boy voted by my friends and I as the cutest of all the boys in school. After time, our relationship would progress to be one of dear friends, but in this story, we're not there yet. I'm just a nerdy file-manager who is desperately trying to get the attention of the cute internet-guy that sits a few feet away from me and who has nobody else to pay attention to.



In my desperation to converse with internet-guy, I one day did something totally thoughtless. I gossiped about one of my very closest friends and how her "friendship" with one of internet-guy's closest friends seemed to be secretly romantic (which it turns out it wasn't, and I knew as much. Again, just for the sake of having something to talk about). It was a dumb-girl thing to do and while I didn't say anything mean about my friend, it certainly wasn't a loyal act.



Naturally, it got back to my long-time very close friend, who was not happy. Laura's family took me with them to St. George a couple of times. I can't tell you the silliness that abounded. If you could see this picture close-up, you would be amazed that somebody as beautiful as Laura would hang out with that british-chap-lookin-thing.

Surprise! Of course she wasn't. After a long talk with her trying to understand why I would do something like that and me not being able to figure it out, I went home and wondered about myself. When did I become a jerk?



I'd always thought of myself as a nice person. I thought I was loyal and a good friend. I wasn't especially nice-on-the-eyes, I wasn't talented or athletic, so these traits of loyalty and kindness were all I was riding on. So I felt lost.



I prayed, I read the scriptures, and then I did what I do best: I made a list. A list to help me get my balance back. I keep this list in my scriptures and when those times in my life come and I feel all out of balance and off-kilter (what is kilter, anyway?), I read it again, and pick a few things to work on.



I'm sharing this for my kids. And so that if the original gets lost, I won't turn into a total jerk. And maybe for transparency. Now you know what goes on in my head. What my weaknesses are. But that I'm trying. Always.



10 years later, I still need to work on all of these things all the time.



Here's the list, appropriately titled,



HOW TO QUIT BEING A JERK:



Prayer

Scripture Study

Tell everyone in family "I love you"

Think one nice thing about everyone I talk to (at least one)

Think of two nice things about everyone I think something negative about

Completely quit worrying about what other people think--don't even make it an issue

Don't stop worrying about what other people feel

Don't be selfish

Be grateful

Be strong, devoted, dedicated (personal admonition given to me)

Be responisble and sensible

Be patient and willing to listen

Don't talk so much

Eat right and drink lots of water

Be positive

Be yourself

Be a light (not a poster) (This is to say, bring warmth and guidance but not be blaring advertisement for righteousness)

Be humble

Be faithful

Serve Serve Serve (find a way to serve someone every day)

Stop gossiping

What would you add to the list?

Snowclives

Before my big trip to Sam's Club on this particular Saturday, I dropped S and the kids off at the neighbor's perfect sledding hill. And then I went on my way, filling my tummy with all the yummy samplage they had to offer.

When I returned, I found this (the next four pictures are from Valerie, who always seems to be there when my camera freezes, and also takes such lovely pictures, I wish I could just have her be our family photographer!):

Below, Campbell enjoys her "shower" (run-off from the roof). She enjoyed this shower almost as long as I enjoy my own, hot, quiet, just-mom-time showers, which is a long time. Well, maybe it wasn't as long as my showers, but considering that it was cold water that was soaking her clothes, it was pretty long. And she was pretty wet.

"Crowing the queen". Cadence was not happy with a baseball cap as a headpiece for the queen. Holden, who provided the hat, was.

Snow baby. Campbell was jealous of the pacifier.

Spencer and Cadence hug their snowselves, while Campbell tries to get cozy enough with the snow-Layla to take her pacifier.

Snow Mom. Sometimes I have really long, blond hair. Like on halloween, I guess. And in snowform.

Just wanted you to see the yard in this one. Everbody else's yard had a couple of inches of snow left on it. You'll notice our snow is all gathered in. Cadence wouldn't quit until she used every last bit.

Happy Winter, from the Snowclives!

Stay Gold, Ponyboy...

Found this picture the other day--

L to R: Me, Robyn (with Baby Benjamin), LuAnn (with JackJack), Katie, Amanda, Melanie, Monica. At a ward picnic near Lake Michigan, just before a torrential rain sent us to the tunnel, which then flooded, so we were forced to go all the way home in the rain. By the time we got to the car, we couldn't have been wetter if we had snorkeled our way to the parking lot.

Sigh. Some of a great big handful of very very wonderful women and friends that I depended upon, learned from, laughed with, was blessed by, grew alongside, and loved. I miss Chicago and I miss those women. Here are some more:

Sarah and Daddy Eric, Chauncey with Maxwell, Tiffany with Jackson, Katie N, Eva with Hannah ( Cam in the foreground). This is at "preschool graduation", with the other members of our co-op).

What would we do without Mimi? And Josh? And Matt and his blender?

Eryn, Rachel and her son, and I at Graduation

Me and Eryn at Graduation. I had to include this one because Eryn bent down so that I could look taller. What a pal :)
Gina, Baby Maeve, Reese, and Cliff-- What a family, eh?




Kai, Me, Eryn, with Eva and possibly Melanie (can't quite tell?) in the back.

Tony, Yanni, and Robert with the Clives. You can't see him but little Simey is back there, too. That's who I'm looking at, laughing because he was certain he should be in the picture, too.

There are many, many more. These are just a few of the ones that I have pictures of.

Nothing Gold Can Stay
by Robert Frost (1874-1963)

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

Stay Gold, Ladies.

Snow Day, Child

Snow Days are the reason I never want to leave Arkansas. I've never lived anywhere where the entire community agrees that when it snows, it's best for us all if we just stay indoors. That is what I'm talking about!!!

This includes working professionals, which means that Daddy gets to stay home, too. Not only is that awesome because

1) I had a real reason to shower, dress, do my hair AND wear makeup all in one day,
or because 2) I get to bug him all day under the pretense of "can I get you a drink" or "can I massage your shoulders so that I can trick you into listening to me discuss the ironies of children's television?" or

3) I feel I have a reason to keep things under control, or even

4) I just love when he gets to quietly observe what my entire day is like, it makes me feel appreciated and justified in not having every little thing in order at the end of the day---

No, the real reason it is awesome is that the kids get to go out sledding until they are all rosy-cheeked and wored out, and I don't have to step a foot outdoors, except to take a couple of pictures.

"Do something awesome with your arms!"

"Daddy, Ah eat da 'noman!"

rosy cheekies

Apparently still eating "da 'noman":

I love you, snow days. I'm never, never going to leave you.

By the way, this wasn't the first snowday this winter. Last snowday (which was the first) was only about a quarter inch of snow and so Spencer still went to work. So I spent 25 minutes rushing like mad trying to get all four of us ready to play in the snow, including dressing Campbell twice, (layers on, layers off, layers on, enter tears...) and it was so cold and the girls were so worn out from getting bundled... We didn't even last more than 5 minutes. Today was much better.

Things that make me smile

I like my kids. They do a lot of cute things.

Cadence spends most of her Mondays telling me that tonight is her night to teach the lesson for Family Home Evening. She does get an unfair amount of lesson assignments. The girl loves to be in charge and to have a captive audience. She gets up in front of us and speaks with great authority and poise.

Tonight she (we) taught the lesson on the scriptures and our family goal to read them every day this year. I tell her in her ear some things to say and she says them and then improvises, then I bring her back to the lesson with another whisper in her ear. Tonight after she taught us about the scriptures I said it was time for Dad to read to us from our "Book of Mormon Stories" book, and she stopped me and said sternly, "No, we'll take a volunteer. Is there anybody who will volunteer to read this? Uh, Dad, YOU. You get to be the one since you're the only one sitting over there."

During the reading, Cadence interrupted every single sentence to insert her incorrect commentary, such as, "See, that's Nephi" (Nope, Lehi.) etc. Here are some of my favorite comments:

Spencer: "Most of the people living in Jerusalem 600 yrs before the birth of Christ were wicked. God sent prophets to tell them to repent, but they would not listen."

Cadence:"But, how did they know? God wasn't even a grown up yet!"

After reading the whole story:

Cadence: "This all happened a long time before we came to the earth!"

Spencer: "Before there were even had T.V.s,"

Cadence: "And they didn't even have homes yet!"

Spencer: "Well, they had homes, but they didn't have..."

Cadence: "Chairs!"

Spencer: "Well, they had chairs, but not couches like this. They didn't have cars but they could get around on camels, or donkeys, or..."

Cadence: "YoYos!"

That's basically how any scripture reading goes with her. Or any conversation, for that matter.

Cadence and her "Prince Gabin"

Cadence has recently learned to read! She can read sight words like bob, dot, has, at, peg, Netflix, Disney, and Tangled. Today she read milk and number. We're so proud of her and she's so excited about it. The only struggle is that she is so excited that she tends to get a little ahead of herself. This is a common problem, I know. But any suggestions on this?

Campbell's communication has increased and improved quite a bit in the last few months. Oh, please bless that it stays just the way it is now. She has the cutest way of talking. The other day she kicked her foot into a baby-seat and hurt herself while dancing. She came to my lap and said, "Mommy, ah needa goda hosspidoh!" She often says things like, "Ah takita off!" (I take it off). Her "mank you" or "bake you" always delight Spencer and I. Along with that, she's such a parrot! She spends at least 75% of waking hours copying everything she hears. Cadence used to get really frustrated and annoyed with it, but I don't even think she notices anymore.

One thing that always cracks me up is that anytime she senses the threat of bedtime or naptime coming on, she blurts out, "ahmohning Mommy!" ("Good Morning, Mommy").

She still insists on a dress every day. She also insists I do her hair, which she pretty much always pulls out, anyway. She has learned from her sister to accessorize and I have found her several times with elastic head bands meant for babies double wrapped around her wrists and ankles, along with little hair bands on her fingers for rings. Every once in a while she gets her hands on a marker while my back is turned and she applies her eveningwear makeup.

Campbell dressed up

Layla is sick, bless her chubby little heart. The last couple of nights she's woken up quite upset. The first night I awoke to her screaming and ran upstairs expecting to see blood or a serious injury, but she was just sitting there, feeling very upset. I picked her up and noted a fever and an intense heart-rate. I sat down with her handing her a bottle.

She took the bottle but instead of drinking it, launched into a story. She was describing something with great enthusiasm, even gesturing with her hands from time to time. After story time I took her downstairs to find some medicine and I handed her off to Spencer while I searched for the thermometer. She told him a story, too. As soon as I lifted her to place her back in the crib she started shaking like crazy and talking up a storm again, clutching my robe tight. So we sat back down in the rocking chair and snuggled until she relaxed and fell asleep. It was a precious moment. A little more precious than when she barfed on me today.

You know, there are a lot of moments of guilt with the third child. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels like that child is just getting ripped off. But on the other hand, those midnight moments when they need you so have never been sweeter for me than with the third, who hardly ever gets that kind of attention from me otherwise. And who appreciates it more, accepts it more.

Layla has added to her vocabulary the words "bottle" ("doe-doe") and "diaper", which sounds just like that, except it seems to always have a question mark at the end.

Oh, oh! And I feel like I can predict pretty acurately that she has inherited that funny, froggy little voice that Cadence once had. Yay!!!

I announced yesterday that the new rule of the family is that NOBODY CHANGES OR GROWS UP AT ALL ANYMORE! EXCEPT CAMPBELL CAN LOSE THE TWO-YEAR-OLD 'TUDE, BUT STAY THE SAME OTHERWISE! Everybody stopped what they were doing to look and listen to this proclamation. Then Cadence just said, "Okay." And they moved on. Good. I can smile about that thought.