Oprah, You are Dead to Me

Disorganized, un-edited rant and rave:

Tonight my sister mentioned to me that during Oprah's anti-Prop 8 segment, she said that "Marriage is out-dated and a failed institution". I tried to find it online but couldn't--all the you-tube videos had been taken down because of a copyright infringement, and it's not on her website. I did, however, find many, many disturbing things as I researched Oprah. Disturbing because she wields so much power.
All I will say is that the more I read about her, the more I thought of the great and spacious building and the great and O-bominable church (not a rip on Obama, but on how she has taken upon herself to be a spiritual leader).
It's just that she has slighted about everything that I stand for in my life. Everything that I believe is pure. The sanctity of marriage has been etched at by her before. Did you know that in 2007 she did a show on sex that not only endorsed casual, friends-with-benefit sex, it encouraged the use of pornography and suggested that an "open marriage" (as in adultery) might be right for some couples?!? Considering how much pull she has (did you know that being put on her book-club list generally means an extra MILLION copies for the publisher?), I'm gonna say that she's evil.
My sister's response to that bash on marriage was that it was completely irresponsible and that it's easy to say that when you don't have children.
My response to all her self-aggrandizing "I know how hard it is to be a woman" free-love bull-$%#$@#% is to write about how miffed I am. I'll come up with something better later.
What do you think of this?

Mini Me

Cadence is very busy and fills many roles: (The strollers and cribs were staged by me; although they are used daily, they aren't allowed to be kept next to their counterparts. The other pictures were taken as they occurred naturally).

This is Campbell sharing her exersaucer with "Baby Doll Campbell". This was Cadence's doing. She feeds, diapers, plays with, sings to, puts down for naps, scolds, sends to time out (although "Baby Doll Cadence" gets much more time outs/scoldings--sad!).

08 was Oh So Great.

Earliest family picture in 08: Dole Pineapple Plantation, HI

January: S was working in Orange County, M was rather sick with Campbell in utero, and C1 was just turning 18 months and had a ton of energy. We lived in a hotel. S's project was terminated and we were suddenly hotel-less (since we were already homeless). Back to Walnut Creek.
February: Lived with the Carlson's: two bedrooms, a bathroom, and a hallway. At least we had our beloved TV. C1's molars finally finished coming in--night-screaming finally fades. Mignon came home from her mission. Mel introduced us to Jake. Spencer started a project in Tacoma, WA, Cadence and I came along and stayed with S's grandparents Clive.
March: Awesome family trip to Hawaii with Matt and Mimi Snow. Pregnancy issues (very mild) made us realize we needed to be in CA, not WA, so we found an apartment and moved our stuff in in one Saturday. A couple of weeks later we learned we would be moving to Chicago in August for U of C MBA. Learned we were having a girl. Totally shocked us.
April: S travelled every week to Tacoma to a project that was very draining and demanding. Our phone conversations suffered. I spent a lot of time with Edda, who's husband was on the same project as Spencer. She helped me get moved in, helped me make a dress, helped me survive without a husband.
May: Our anniversary! 4 years. Went to visit Spencer's fam, left C1 alone for the first time over night (two nights!) and spent some quality time in Venice Beach, CA. Was great, missed my little girl. C1 had tons of fun, didn't really miss us. I was getting uncomfortably large, and we were still very unsure of baby names.
June: Traveled almost the entire month. By now, C1 didn't know what it was like to be in one place for more than 2-3 weeks. Visited Clive grandparents in Tacoma while Spencer worked, also visited Utah, where S ran the Ragnar Relay (Wasatch Front), and then the O Fam Reunion was held. Tons of fun, considerably more drama than usual. We're glad things are working out :). S and M still argue about baby names.
July: C1's birthday, which lasted forever (two or three parties, for one thing). I spent most of the month trying to put my huge body into labor (long walks and stairs). Gained 40 lbs. by end of pregnancy, S started working from home. Campbell was born with under 2 minutes of pushing.
August: Drove to Utah, flew to Chicago, waited a week for our stuff to come. Got ripped off by movers. C2 proves to be colicky. I was scared to death to be in Chicago. S was excited, C1 was confused. C2 was fussy. Met many new friends.
September: S in school, loving it. M and kids at home just trying to get our footing. Learn to use public transportation since we didn't have our car. C1 refuses to adjust well and is violent. M has colicky child, violent child, and hormonal heck: cries often. S loves life.
October: We are all feeling a little more settled, esp. since M's parents brought the car to us. Feeling really close to the friends we are making out here. Great Halloween. Campbell grows out of colic. Cadence's hair fits in a hairband?!?
November: Gets cold! We go shopping and stock up on winter clothes. Thanksgiving with a few friends here. S's internship networking/information sessions already starting!
December: Finals, Florida, Christmas in Utah, C2 really blossoms into a sort-of self-governing organism. Here comes personality! C1 is finally adjusting to Chicago, so is M. The whole fam is happy.

In hindsight, I can see that the Lord was trying to teach me a new word: ADAPT. We have had a lot of fun along the way, but this was definitely a year of refinement for us. I feel that we are so much the better for it. How grateful I am for all the opportunities I've had to learn and grow this year. How evermore grateful I am for Spencer, who so patiently helps me through every mess, or trial, or whatever it is. He is so good to me. And I am eternally grateful to my Heavenly Father, who not only provided me with opportunities to learn and grow, but provided me also with the ability to survive it all. I wasn't on my own, for sure.

Thank you, also, to all of you who have provided support and service to us during this year when we couldn't do it all on our own. We've been blessed and lifted by so many of you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I feel compelled to name a few names... certainly I can't thank everybody that I feel lifted by, it would take me a year just to do that. But I would like to make special mention of a few:
--Wes and Linda Carlson, Merica and Damian, The Elders Quorum of WC 2nd (multiple moves!), Edda, Matt and Mimi, Kathryn Hawks, Susannah and Ben Nelson, Kelli and Steve Palmer, Mom and Dad O, Mignon, Mel, Mikee, Mom and Dad C, Cliff and Gina, Heidi McMillan, Matt and Robyn Hutchison, Catherine Bailey, Grandfather and Grandmother Clive (and that nice girl in their ward who came to help me with Cadence when I couldn't move), Jim and Sarah Suva, and Emron Pratt.

We are changed people because of the small and immense sacrifices you have shown us. We aspire to pass it forward and make the world a little better for somebody, as each of you have done for us. We love you. I mean it.

Thanks again, everybody! Here's hoping for another great year!

-Spencer, Mardee, Cadence, and Campbell Clive.

The Christmas Before Christmas

For obvious reasons, Santa decided to make a special delivery to our house before we left for Florida/Utah. It was so much fun. Here are some pictures from that wonderful morning.It was fun to have her unwrap all the little gifts and be so excited about each one.

Spencer was pretty dang excited about his gift, too.


She wasted no time getting to work making us some breakfast. Cute story about how much she loves her kitchen. She sleeps in a big girl bed, but she NEVER gets out unless somebody comes to get her, even if she's been awake for 1/2 hour. That night at about 3 in the morning I heard some tinkering and got up to check on it and I caught her scampering away from her kitchen, watched her run through the rest of the house to her room, and she jumped back into her bed , and said to me as I walked in, "I just had to make some Mac n Cheese". I knew then that the kitchen was worth the money. She is in her kitchen as much as, or more than I am.
Spencer left after the Santa festivities to study for finals. I was supposed to pack for our big three weeks away, but instead I found myself inviting my mommy-friends over to play rockband while our kids took care of themselves.
Katie on lead guitar, Jacob on vocals, Robyn and Nicholas on drums. Cadence is around the corner lying on the linoleum whining about who knows what. We were busy. In fact, at the very moment I was snapping the picture, Robyn was desperately trying to explain to young Nicholas, who wasn't being very understanding, "Nicholas, Mommy just has to play Rockband right now!
It was a lot of fun. A lot. When are you girls coming over again to play? Should we get a sitter next time? And for the friends who didn't come last time...don't worry, you'll get your chance :).

The Actual Christmas

Christmas was so wonderful this year. After a week of family togetherness and warmth, our little fam joined up with our big fams out in Utah. The big ol' snow storm of December hit the day that we flew from Florida to Utah, so our travel day that was supposed to start at 5:00 AM and end at 1:00 PM instead started at 5:00 AM and ended at 9:30 PM. It was a long day.

The trouble it was to get to Utah was well worth it. It was so fun to be there at a time when my younger sisters were out of school, so that they were able to be around a lot. We got to voice our opinions about wedding colors, cakes, bridesmaids and dresses (Mel and Jake), our opinions about who Mignon should date, and how Mikee is perfect (still). Cadence got to play in the snow, and at the little gym (pictures, please?), play the two pianos at my parents' house, visit Grandma Great (Harward) everyday, eat Grandma's yummy chili, give Pepper treats, pick presents for her cousins, aunts, and uncles, and have dance party after dance party.

Campbell was loved, adored, snuggled, kissed, danced with, tossed, changed, propped up, and tickled by a whole lot of people. She was SO happy there.

Another great thing about Utah was that Spencer's family came to us! They come to their cabin near Sundance for many holidays, and it sure made our Christmas special to be there with them.

Christmas day was so much fun. Cadence was very very excited about the presents and made it a little more fun for everybody. Campbell was just a blob, really. Someday, Cam. Spencer got me "4 gigs of ram"? Really romantic, Spence. Just kidding, now I can blog twice as fast, I LOVE IT! I really do, thanks, babe. I wrote him a letter. And got him Rockband. You know, almost as exciting as ram. :) (To be fair, he also took me to Florida, and Rockband was kind of for both of us.)

We really missed having Merica, Damian, and their adorable girls around for Christmas morning. Their girls are so funny and fun on Christmas. We loved, however, having McKay and Karalyn around for Christmas, and of course Zavian, who is the handsomest, most hilarious and expressive baby boy ever. I wish I could have packed him up and brought him home with me.
Christmas night, Spencer's family came down to my parent's house and we had dinner and played and danced and had a great time together. The chemistry of our families together is always funny to me. So different, and yet a great time is always had by all. A great and memorable time. Like that time that the Clives nearly got themselves lectured/dirtylooked to death by the Ortons over an insistence that my mom gets the "spanking machine" for losing a game....

Spencer and I got to go Snowboarding the next day while Cadence stayed home at the cabin and played with Gramps and Mamaw. When I got back she was sledding with Gramps and having so much fun. She also got to sleep right next to John, Caitlin, and Trevor, which was really exciting (almost TOO exciting).

We came back to my parents house when the Clives had to leave to head home. We were sad to see them go so soon, but were very grateful for their time and how good they are to the kids. I don't know when we'll see them again, but we can't wait.

It was nice to have as much fun with my family as we did. I didn't feel rushed, or anxious about "fitting it all in", or morning sickness (last year I was pretty worthless). It was so fun to just be there. My dad had a lot of work to do, and so did my mom (Mel's getting married really soon!), but they were both very happy, and took a lot of time to be with my kids.

Thanks, Mom and Dad Orton, Mom and Dad Clive, and all the people who made time for us this year.

Thank you, Spencer, for all you did to make this holiday special for us. I appreciate all your hard work and the time you sacrifice to be with us, to take us places, and to love us.

Now for a few pictures. I didn't take very many. I never do when I'm with family. It's too bad. I guess I was having too much fun.

Cadence and Daddy ready to go out in the snow. I hadn't found her boots yet, so newspaper bags and rubberbands did the trick. Below are a couple more snow play pics that I thought were so sweet.




Mikee and Campbell. I like it because Mikee is making a weird face, even though she still looks pretty.
Grandpa Orton and Cadence are dancin' fools!

Cadence was so helpful on Christmas morning. She wanted to help everybody unwrap. Here she is sporting her new princess panties, which we are now using for potty-training.

Florid-aaaah

Sunset at Key West.

After a week in the one state I vowed to hate forever, I'm sheepishly admitting I was wrong-- Florida isn't ALL bad, and apparently it isn't as dangerous as I thought. We didn't have to survive a single tropical storm!
My ever-resourceful and economical husband who can't stay in one place for too long planned a lovely little get-away for our little family. We flew for free (thank you Southwest Rapid Rewards), and stayed for free for most nights, and the last two nights we only paid $40 for hotels (thank you Priceline Negotiator!). We estimate that we spent $500 total on our Florida trip--Yay!
It was a lovely week together.
Spencer loved: Fan Boat ride through everglades to see alligators, randomly running into Cliff and Gina and Reese at Bahia Honda beach, and Cuban food.
I loved: The SUN! The tropical flora and fauna, and having the whole family together.
Cadence loved: Alligators, swimming, and sleeping in a huge bed in the same room as the rest of us.
Campbell loved: So many things to look at, wearing cute summery clothes that she missed out on because she isn't a California baby, and bonding with her daddy.

Some highlights:
Gator park: Took fan-boat ride through everglades, saw alligators,turtles, and HUGE iguana. Camera's batteries conveniently died.
Fairchild Botanical Gardens in Miami: One of the most beautiful botanical gardens I've seen. We also had a picnic in an adjacent park--it was a really lovely and peaceful Sunday together. Maybe my favorite day.
Key West: Weather was unbelievably great (upper 70's) and the people watching is interesting. Cadence had more fun at the playground that the locals use and the pool at the hotel than at the beach.
Bahia Honda: A key (island) that is a state park. The beach was much nicer than at Key West, and we just happened to see Cliff and Gina and Reese (Spencer's bro. and fam) at the same beach, only a few picnic tables away! (They had independently planned a trip to the Keys the same time as we did! What are the odds?) It was really fun to watch the girls play together on the beach and to spend the day with them. We're so glad that we ran into them.

Chesterfield Inn: Monday night Spencer and got on Priceline to book our hotels for the last two nights. Have you ever used Priceline Negotiator? You pick the area, then the number of stars you want, then name your price. Within a minute or two the "Negotiator" has come back to let you know if they found anything for you. We got a place in Miami for $40 and hoped it wasn't in a terrible neighborhood and that it was clean enough for the kids. We showed up the next night and...wow! It was along a stretch in Miami Beach that was way posh. The lobby of the hotel looked like a night-club...well, it basically was one. I sat down on the uber-modern couch in the lobby/nightclub and nursed Campbell while trying to keep Cadence from knocking over the white Christmas tree with black decorations. We laughed as Spencer forced himself to ask the guy at the desk if they had a crib...right. Anyway, we are pretty sure that it was designed for men...who like men. And we are also very sure we are the only family to have EVER stayed there! It was fun, though.This is as bright as it gets in the Chesterfield Hotel.

Jungle Island: A small but interactive zoo in Miami. I loved it. So did Cadence. I've never been to a zoo before where the animals were so visible and active. The bird show was amazing. They had a Liger, a snow-tiger, and a 20-foot alligator! It was worth the money.

Snow tiger cub with trainer "China".

Liger. It's big. Guinness World Records: Biggest Cat. Take that.

Now we are in Utah, having a Heavenly time with family. The snow is atrocious and won't stop, although it doesn't feel very cold to us, since it's much colder in Chicago! More on the Utah trip later....Merry Christmas everybody!

Why didn't anybody TELL ME!?!?!

Dear Friends and Family that I Trusted:

Tonight, for the first time, as a 26-year-old woman, I faced reality. For the past 14 years (before I was about 12 years old, I think they were just sort of brown), if you asked me what color my eyes were, you would get one of two answers:

1) "Green", accompanied by a death stare that said, "I dare you to argue it!"
or 2) "Sort of a green with a gold/brown star in the middle, with yellow and brown specks...I don't really know what to call them. They change with my hair or my shirt, and when I cry or wash my face..."

I relate to songs about girls with green eyes. Spencer learned to play one on the guitar for me, which made me cry. My [expired] driver's license says, "eyes: grn". In all these years, did nobody feel it was their responsibility to tell me my eyes were HAZEL?

Spencer claims that in the beginning of our time together he told me this, and that I was so mad at him, and argued it so strongly that he dropped it and never brought it back to my attention. I have no recollection of this.

Tonight he looked up "Hazel Eyes", and here are some things we found:

"Hazel eyes are not one color. It is a name for a combination of colors: golds, greens and browns. My eyes have a dark green circle on the outer edge, going in with lighter greens and specks of gold into a starburst effect with a gold edge, inside that is a lighter brownish gold color with starburst lines inside to the pupil. The colors seem to change with hair and clothing color. The eye color becomes significantly greener with the salt of tears."

"My Gramma's eyes are so hazel. They look greenish gold most of the time. But if she wears something that is really green they turn to green, then if she wears blue they almost look dark blue..."

and an excerpt from Wikipedia: ...light brown near the pupil and charcoal or amber/dark green on the outer part of the iris (and vice versa) when observed in sunlight.Above: picture from the web of a hazel eye, with more gold/less green than mine typically have.
Below: My eyes. Nevermind my intense eyebrows, this was taken the day after I got my eyebrows tattooed in Thailand ($25!). This is a picture Spencer took to prove to me that I wasn't really crossing my eyes--another sad moment in my life.

Okay, now let me put this into perspective. I'll paint a picture for you:

Let's imagine that you carry a strange discoloration on your left cheek (you choose which one). You spend your whole life wondering about that spot and thinking it isn't something that can easily be explained, or something that anybody else can truly appreciate. Then one day you find an article on the internet that clearly describes YOU! Your little idiosyncracy that you thought was so strange is actually totally normal. In fact, there is a word to describe it--birthmark--a word you've heard a million times before. Do you feel that everything you've ever believed to be true is now a lie?

Well, hello world of people who know how to answer the question, "What color are your eyes?". I guess I'll be joining you now. I'm just trying to get used to it. In a way, I'm grateful, although I'll miss "green".

Now that my eye-color has been explained, I'll have more time to sit and ponder my other genetic mutations, like,
"Why don't my arms have any hair on them?",
or, "Where the heck are my eyebrows?",
"Where did this cute little nose come from?",
or especially, "How in the world was I, clearly a redhead, born with brown hair?"

So, I hope you all feel guilt in your hearts that you let me go on like this for so many years. You could have just told me. I have hazel eyes.