"...because Mommy's going to lose it if you don't stop it NOW!"

Do you ever hear yourself saying something like that and wonder if you have actually lost your mind? I mean, when you find that you are talking that way to a 2-year-old....

My mother-in-law recently sent me to a link where an article was posted entitled: The Perfect Mom. I didn't really want to read it.This totally depresses me. Seriously. Are there moms out there that feel like they deserve this? I am the only one who KNOWS she doesn't? I mean, I'm just laying it all out for you guys. This would probably make me cry if I got it as a card. Sad tears.

Sometimes I feel an urge to be perfect, but most of the time I mostly feel guilt that I don't feel guilty for not being perfect. In either case, we all feel a lot of mixed emotions and (dare I call it unnecessary?) guilt. Here are a few of my favorite parts of the article:

By simply changing the use of the word perfect from an adjective to a verb, perfection becomes motivating, not demoralizing. To perfect means to improve, refine, hone, work on. That’s something each of us can do everyday without a deadline or flawless end product to measure up to. It’s more about striving than arriving. Read these inspiring words from Leonard Cohen:

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything,
That's how the light gets in.

As mothers, we’re not in the same boat, just the same ocean. Comparing each other’s boats and constantly keeping track of who is ahead does nothing to get us where we are trying to go; it only distracts us from the care of our precious cargo.

The definition of mothering is to look after, care for, protect, nurse, and tend. There is nothing in that definition about alphabetically organized spice racks, Disney cruises, multiple degrees or granite counter tops. (And note that this is my first time using giant text to emphasize--that's how much I love this:) Have you ever noticed that children don’t care if your middle is mushy or there are cobwebs in the corner? Their needs are very basic and you are at the top of their list.

Okay, okay, I don't need to be a perfect mom, but I do really really despise myself if I find cobwebs in my home or when I wipe up a spill on the floor and see weeks worth of dirt and grime come up (too much information?), or I suddenly get a toddler-kiss on my "tire" that is sneakily peaking over my pants. (we're talking before my pregnancy).

Even though I have many friends who seem to be "perfect moms/homemakers", I'm sure you still feel pressure and guilt about some things. I hope this reminds you, as it did me, that mothering is not about me. It's about my precious, sweet, beautiful, unique, God-given children. And I'm not doing them any good by having mixed up priorities.


Here is the link to the entire article. I encourage you to read it. It is inspiring and relieving.